How will the Golden Globes entertain us this year? And by entertain, of course, we mean stupefy.
Nominations are out Thursday morning. Here are some guesses as to what'll get folks scratching their heads—and recalling Tourist nods past:
• Johnny Depp: No, not for The Tourist, but for either the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie (he's been nominated twice before for playing Capt. Jack Sparrow), or The Rum Diary. If you haven't seen Depp's name in the Oscar mix, it's because the Oscars doesn't have a Musical or Comedy category. Remember: All Globe weirdness stems from the Hollywood Foreign Press having to fill out its Musical or Comedy fields. (Well, almost all Globe weirdness…)
• Any Comedy (or Musical) That's Not The Artist, Bridesmaids and Midnight in Paris—i.e., the Legit Locks: See above.
• Footloose: Ditto.
• The Muppets: Tritto—sort of. Critics really did love this reboot, so the idea of Kermit as an awards-season heavyweight isn't crazy like Animal.
• Julia Roberts: Even more than her Larry Crowne pal, Tom Hanks, the Hollywood Foreign Press loves it some Pretty Woman. Last year, the group nominated Roberts for Duplicity—Duplicity! So, yes, basically anything can happen after the Globes pencils in its requisite Comedy or Musical Best Actress nods for Charlize Theron (Young Adult), Kristen Wiig (Bridesmaids) and The Artist's Bérénice Bejo, unless, that is, Bejo is positioned as a supporting actress, as she was at the Screen Actors Guild nominations.
• Jennifer Aniston: Can the star-driven Hollywood Foreign Press resist the urge to nominate Aniston for Just Go With It, thereby engineering a red-carpet reunion with Brad Pitt, who'll surely be up for Moneyball and maybe The Tree of Life, too? Probably, but it is a fun idea.
• Robert Downey Jr.: He won for the first Sherlock Holmes, why couldn't he be in the Globes game for the sequel, A Game of Shadows?
• Pia Zadora: Granted, this one-time winner didn't appear in a single TV show or film in the past year (or decade), but never, ever underestimate the Globes. In other words, somebody you (and we) haven't imagined getting nominated will get nominated. That's what make Ricky Gervais' job so easy.