Afternoon Mail! Hugh Jackman and Football Stars Pique Vicey Interest!

Readers wonder if the X-Men star is Toothy Tile and if Jay Cutler is a Vice Star

By Ted Casablanca Dec 08, 2011 8:44 PMTags
Hugh JackmanSara Jaye Weiss/StartraksPhoto.com

Dear Ted:
Is Hugh Jackman really the great guy that he seems to be? The all-around great husband and great father. Does he have any skeletons or Vices? Also has Toothy Tile ever been photographed with his beard?
—Italia

Dear Naughty and Nice:
Just because the X-Men star may also be a Vice star—which he is—doesn't mean he's not the nice dude he appears to be. Trust me, I adore Mr. Jackman and I've known about his Vice since like...forever. As for Toothy, T.T. has been snapped with beards, of course. That's the point!

Dear Ted:
Thank you for starting to write about sports B.V.'s again instead of constant Twilight nonsense! Jay Cutler has to be Pepper Harthman, duh. There have been rumors about why he and Kristin Cavallari split the first time. Maybe if these Twi-hards picked a (sports) team for goss, they'd learn about some real Vicey behavior instead of obsessing over one relationship on your boards all day long. Boring!
—Sue

Dear Pep Assembly:
Glad you're loving the sports stuff, Sue, I'll definitely try to keep it up for ya—especially since there's so much naughty dish to spill about those dudes when they're off the field. And while Cutler might have a few secrets that have yet to come out (even from fiancée K.Cav), he's not Harthman.

Dear Ted:
Is Chuck Finger-Dingle Zooey Deschanel? P.S. Am new to the Awful Truth but totally addicted! Love it!
—C

Dear New Girl on New Girl:
Welcome, babe, and great first guess, but hate to tell ya Zooey is not our lady-lovin' Vicer. The New Girl chick hasn't earned herself a moniker just yet. But now that she's single and hotter than ever, who knows what'll happen.

Dear Ted:
Did you see the Blind Gossip item about the guy who asked a famous NFLer to say "hello" to his 85-year-old grandma on his way out of a restaurant? The player responded by telling them to eff off? Why is this a secret? That D-bag makes millions working in a fan-dependent "business." He behaved outrageously in a public space. I would have named him in a second! In a situation like this, why protect his privacy?
—SeaBee

Dear Take It With a Grain of Salt:
Yes, I heard about the par-tick bit some time ago when it was just some rumblings around town. It's blind because it could tip off a lawsuit, really, but with that said: I don't really entirely buy it. I know which baller it's supposed to be though.

Dear Ted:
Thanks for the clues on Vicey Charlotte! They were really helpful, but now, I've got to ask you, what has Portia Vajazzle been up to lately, any helpful hints? You never answered many questions about her.
—M

Dear All That Glitters:
Portia hasn't really been up to anything lately, at least nothing too juicy. Maybe it's because she's between gigs right now. Usually she's up to her naughtiest when she's got a movie to pimp or a gig to land.

Dear Ted:
So yesterday you mentioned that a celeb can't have more than one Vice name. Would you mind letting us in on some differences between the celebs behind Twyla Babe-Sucker and Terry Tush-Trade then?
—S

Dear Battle of the Broads:
Twyla is much more conniving than Terry. She's probably hotter too.