Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart

Dave M. Benett/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
C'mon, admit you missed the target! Have you honestly seen the way Kristen Stewart looks at her man?! You can see the absolute love! I say they're equally into each other! Can you man up and say you were wrong?!

Dear Not So Fast:
Look, doll, I have no problem admitting when I am wrong, but I have to tell you in this par-tick instance I'm not. Kristen is totally into Rob, sure, but that doesn't mean he's not into her more. In a perfect world people in relayshes might be into each other "equally," but who ever claimed this was a perfect world?

Dear Ted:
Are Jake Gyllenhaal and Olivia Wilde hooking up? Seems like she's moving from one A-list leading man to the next. But I'm not buying this one.

Dear Missed the Boat:
They certainly make sense together, but I'm not sold on it either. In fact, I can promise you, M, that there's nothing beyond niceties between these two. And give Olivia a break, she just got a divorce, she's allowed to spread her wings a bit. 

Dear Ted:
With all of the closeted gay and bisexual men and women in Hollywood, would it be correct to say that 50 percent of the super-famous sex-symbol leading men would fall into one of those categories, and 25 percent for the women? It seems so considering the large number of your blinds to that effect.

Dear I'm Not a Mathematician...
But I'd say closer to 88 percent of the dudes. Just kiddin', Case! There's a straight guy or two out there somewhere...

Dear Ted:
Whoever suggested Mila Kunis for the Grace Kelly biopic needs to get their eyes checked. Mila is a dead ringer for Natalie Wood, and if another biopic is made about Natalie (forget about that crappy ABC TV movie a couple of years ago), she needs to be cast.

Dear Optometrist:
I agree. Especially since it's obvious that Blake Lively should play Kelly (trust me, you'll come around to this casting choice eventually). And since Nat Wood is so hot in the news right now, I don't doubt some H'wood type is out there pitching a project already.

Dear Ted:
Any news on those Magic Mike dreamboats?

Dear Chip-N-Dale:
Believe me, if there was more to tell I would totally dish! But surprisingly nothing particularly juicy is going on behind-the-scenes. Guess all the good stuff is happening on camera. I cannot wait until we get a trailer for this flick.

Dear Ted:
Your column is saving me already this season by giving me a place to go to get away from my crazy family. So could you please entertain me and save my sanity by confirming my Vice guess? I think Barbie Sinatra is Whitney Cummings! Am I right?
—Gobble Gobble

Dear Since You Asked So Nicely:
Sorry, but Whit isn't our soon-to-be-canceled babe. While people debate whether Ms. Cummings is funny or not (heck, I'm just happy to see another female comedian getting cred), nobody thinks that Barbie is particularly amusing. Especially when it comes to a punch line.

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