American Horror Story

Prashant Gupta / FX

Breathe. Just breathe. And prepare yourself!

The next episode of American Horror Story has what is arguably the show's biggest OMFG moment to date, and it has to do with a certain freaky-deeky baby daddy.

Within the first five minutes of tomorrow night's show, you will learn the full identity of Rubber Man! And the reveal is…


Suffice to say that Wednesday's episode of AHS, titled "Rubber Man," catapults the storyline forward in such a way, you'll begin to think every other series on television has been written in quicksand. There are some very big answers that other series would wait three or fours seasons to get to.

In the ep, Vivien (Connie Britton) begins to seriously question her own sanity—thanks to the evil genius of her husband's dead mistress Hayden (Kate Mara), who clearly is out for revenge (and something far more precious, gah!).

Emmy voters, let the record show: Britton's work in this episode is heartbreakingly convincing and beyond compare, as she teeters between paranoia and understanding something truly horrific and beyond belief.

And Mara? Holy hell. Let's just say that there is not a more hateable psychotic bitch anywhere on television. Can we just hand both of these women their Emmys right now?

Now, to prepare you for this week's stunning episode, here's a roundup of quotes you will hear during the best OMFG moments. Can you guess who says them?

  • "You shot me."
  • "How come she gets to have two and we don't get to have any?"
  •  "It's kind of romantic, isn't it? Now they'll be together forever."
  • "I know you've suffered a long time. I'm here to help you."
  • "I think you should get over your compulsive need to please the ladies of this house."
  • "If you are about to diagnose me with post-traumatic shock syndrome I'm going to bash your goddamn face in."

OK, so that last one is pretty obvious. And perhaps the greatest reason this episode may be Britton's finest work to date: Even as the house/Hayden/etc. try to rip her sanity away from her, Vivien is fierce. Coach Taylor would be so proud.

Catch the next American Horror Story on FX this Wednesday night. And remember: Breathing isn't optional.

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