Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton

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Is Kate Middleton finally pregnant?
—Annoy Me, via the inbox

Right, right, because the fairy tale is never complete without a prince and a castle and a bay-beeeee. When the infant does arrive, you can bet he will come forth fully outfitted with all his medals and epaulets, and he will be a sight to see. But in the next nine months? According to royal mouthpieces, no.

That's not the only royals-related question I've fielded lately. Anyone feeling like a royal roundup? Here we go ...

Is Pippa Middleton single or not?
—Suc212, via the inbox

Any unmarried person is single, lug nut. However, if you believe stories, Pippa no longer has a serious snogging candidate but has fallen back on her ex, Earl George Percy.

Just how much of a bad boy is Prince Harry, I mean, lately?
—S.V., via the inbox

I'd ask the folk of sleepy Gila Bend, Arizona, where the prince is currently engaged in weapons training. (That's not code for anything; he's really learning about weapons. Part of his military training.) A few weeks earlier, the prince reportedly got friendly with a California cocktail waitress, a rebound, perhaps, given that he has split with longtime girlfriend Chelsy Davy. A rumor circulated that the Gila Bend mayor personally warned the prince to behave himself in his territory, but the town manager has denied the story.

Are Kate and Will getting a separation?
—All Woman, via the inbox

I know where this rumor came from: In January the prince reports for a six-week tour of duty in the Falkland Islands as part of his job as a Royal Air Force search & rescue pilot. The mission is considered "classified," which means no spouses allowed, not even the duchess type. Ergo, Mrs. Prince William shall remain behind in Britain.

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