Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried

Lester Cohen/WireImage

Dear Ted:
You've gotta help me out here because I'm sporting some serious hatred for Amanda Seyfried. I just saw a picture of this girl at some frou-frou event and holy moses she just keeps getting more amazing looking. I mean, she looks like a freaking fairy princess right now, and my jealousy is reaching a boiling point. So tell me, please, that she has some naughty, juicy Vice that'll bring her down a notch and soothe my ego.
—Green-Eyed Monsterpuss

Dear Ego Stroke:
Dry your eyes and cool your jets, cutie, ‘cause Amanda most definitely has a Vice. And it's a not-so-nice one to boot, so that should make you feel extra warm and fuzzy. Funny enough, it would have been the perfect companion Vice to costar Justin Timberlake's. So crazy these two never canoodled!  

Dear Ted:
There is no way that's Robert Pattinson's muscley back in the breaking of the bed scene. Do you think Rob had a stunt double?

Dear Double Your Pleasure:
Wrong-o, you doubting Debby! That's all Rob, and you have Taylor Lautner to thank for it. Can't wait to see what else he shows off in the flick...

Dear Ted:
I'm loving your Hollywood's Hottest Body Parts polls! Your legs competition one got me thinking: Could some of these polls give us a hint to the Vices of these celebs? Specifically Alexander Skarsgård. Speaking of all things hot, have you seen Melancholia? Do you think it'll do better than that awful remake of Straw Dogs? Our fave Swede could use some love at the box office.

Dear Getting a Leg Up:
Nice try, but the most Skars' appearance in our Hot Bods Tourney and his Vice have in common is that they're both red hot from the waist down. As for his somewhat cold box office draw, I'll say this much: Maybe board-game-turned-big screen-fodder Battleship will be his saving grace?

Dear Ted:
I think you have suggested that the relationship between Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban is a bit less than authentic, and I thought you're on track. But then a strange thing happened. I took my daughter to dance class and saw Nicole standing there among all the other parents. Every week since then either Nicole and the nanny—or Nicole and Keith and the nanny—have been there. Sometimes they leave while Sunday is in class and return when it's over; sometimes they hang around and chat. So what's the point of doing this sort of mundane thing together if they really aren't into one another? Red carpet and publicity events I would understand, but the fact that they run Saturday morning errands together makes them seem at least a bit real.

Dear Sunday Bloody Sunday:
Just because two parents share carpooling duties hardly means the relationship is scorching hot behind closed doors. And Kidman values her public appearance, even if it's just at a dance studio in Nashville. 

Dear Ted:
I see my questions will have to compete with the craziness of Robsten fans and/or haters, so here goes. I know for a fact that Henry Cavill is a satyr. That's right; he's half man and half goat. I know this to be a fact, all the signs are there. They use CGI to give him legs in his roles on television and film. Do not try and deny this. Now, do you have any dish on our new Clark Kent? Does he have a Blind Vice moniker?

Dear What Are You On?
Half man and half goat, huh? That's about the most interesting thing I can drum up on this (albeit dapper) dude. Maybe you should be doing his publicity for him—you could at least land him a tabloid cover or two in Narnia.

Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile hunky Bradley Cooper?

Dear Not a Bad Guess...
But no, although Toothy is equally as hot. 

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