Brad Pitt, Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston; ADTJ/GI Media; Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Dear Ted: 
What's with all of the "Morning Mail" and "Afternoon Mail" BS? Bitch-Back seemed so much more fun! OK, on to my question: I just love that Jennifer Aniston is, well, in love. It's such a big eff you to Brad Pitt. And it's not like she's trying. In her past relationships, it was like she was trying too hard to say, "Hey, Brad! Looky here! I'm over you." In your humble opinion, do you see her relaysh with Justin Theroux lasting longer than Brad's with Angelina? I do. Hope you bring the Bitch-Back back!

Dear Keep on Bitchin':
Sorry, doll, but Mail is the new B.B., haven't ya heard? I'm going retro just like Mad Men and PanAm and giving an old-school shout-out to the postal office. So keep your letters comin' my way (bitching included, of course). As for Jenny, this relaysh is totally more her speed. That said, it's too early to tell whether it'll outlast Brangelina's LTR.

Dear Ted:
Now that Jared Padalecki is officially a papa-to-be, can we expect to hear breaking news from Danneel Harris? It seems like Jared and Jensen do everything in pairs.

RELATED: Are Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox More Than Just Friends?

Dear Playdate for One:
Remember, Danneel told me that she didn't want to get into the baby-makin' biz until after her hubby's Supernatural stint ended. Plus, this chick wants to land some starring roles and that's harder to do when you're knocked up.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Robert Pattinson has gotten cocky and arrogant, with a "too cool for school" attitude?

Dear Straight From the Jackman's Mouth:
Cocky and arrogant? Not particularly. But too cool for school? According to Hugh Jackman, yes.

Dear Ted:
You go on and on about how Lea Michele is fabulous, talented, knows exactly what she's doing, yada yada, yada. Mind you, I think she's great, but all she has to show for all her hard work is a TV show. How is what she's doing exactly working for her as a solo artist post-Glee? No movies and she didn't get the Broadway revival of Funny Girl.
—Hot in Houston

Dear Boob Tube Trouble:
A hit small screen series, babe. One that's inspired records and tours and movies and tons of other work for the already overworked chica. And she does have some big-screen stuff coming up: Don't forget, she landed a part in the star-studded New Year's Eve and lent her signature voice to Dorothy of Oz.

Dear Ted:
Did you see the article on Beyoncé faking the baby bump? What the heck is going on? Could she really fake a pregnancy? I'm shocked, but maybe not entirely surprised?

Dear Fake Bake:
How very sitcom savvy, Buss. And while I think that crafty Bey could be the one to pull it off if she really wanted to, Beyoncé knows all eyes are on her and her already mega-talented fetus. Too much attention to totally fake a bun in the oven.

Dear Ted:
Are Veronica Bee Sting's augmentations and alterations tasteful, or are they plain obvious? Also, do you think this girl's sexual escapades are going to catch up with her in the long run? Has it tarnished her rep? She may have done a good job at hiding them so far, but no one can escape the truth or a hoard of angry H'wood wives, for that matter.

Dear Float Like a Butterfly:
Oh, VBS only goes to the ritziest of plastic surgeons. Her new rack is one of the best in the biz. As for her antics catching up with her, they already have...kinda. But I think things will only get worse for Ronnie in the future.

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