Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore

Sara Jaye Weiss/

Dear Ted:
I've been going through a divorce (good times!) and it made me think of one big question: Why does marriage even exist anymore? It's this antiquated concept that should go the way of VCRs and beepers. The Ashtons and Demis are becoming the rule and not the exception. What do you think, Ted?

Dear Bummer:
Not much of a romantic, are you Bubble person? Even though I—and many others—suck at marriage, don't be a buzzkill for the whole world, babe. Some folks like Portia De Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres still know how to pull it off. The jury's still out on Demi and Ashton.

Dear Ted:
About a year ago you ran a Blind Vice about Altar-Ego Salami. Any updates on his cheatin' ways? Is he currently married and if so, does the Mrs. know that he is sharing his, um, salami with others?

Dear Cheater Cheater Lady Eater:
Oh, he tied the knot all right. And his wifey definitely does not know what he's up to behind her back. It would break her poor, dimwitted heart. She's actually thinks he's into the whole monogamy thing.

Dear Ted:
So, with all the buzz over Ryan Gosling, I have to know if his former girlfriend Rachel McAdams has a Blind Vice? Also, is she as girl-next-door sweet as she seems, or does she have a bit of edge to her?

Dear Notebook Naughtiness:
She's got some edge, but she's still not edgy enough to have earned a moniker. The only crime Rachel's ever committed was breaking up with Gos and ruining the perfect celluloid couple. But even that's (kinda) understandable.

Dear Ted:
I am wondering if there is any chance of Dianna Agron and Alex Pettyfer ever getting back together? Or if there is any chance that Dianna could maybe hookup with Cory Monteith or Mark Salling on the Glee set?

Dear No and No and No:
Di and Alex are way over, babe. I don't even think seeing him sashay his stuff in a teeny tiny g-string (in Magic Mike, of course) could win the Glee gal over again. As for her show tunes singing cohorts, there's zilch chemistry off set between any of 'em. Plus, she's already having fun with another H'wood hunk.

Dear Ted:
People really seem to hate on January Jones, I wonder why? Does the whole adult cast of Mad Men get along well with her? Does Jon Hamm like her? I feel bad she has been going through so much with being a single mom and all.

Dear Cooling Off:
While the kiddos may think she needs to lighten up a bit, there's far less drama between Jan and her post-teen Mad Men costars (Jonny included). She may not be all sunshine and rainbows but she keeps things (mostly) professional on set. So there's no real reason to complain.

Dear Ted:
You should be ashamed of yourself, starting a rumor that Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson have split. Nothing could be further from the truth. They have an extremely strong bond, and do not listen to the rumors that you or anyone else puts out there. Funny how you are the only board on the planet that has this story. I think you are maybe drinking a little too much, and are imagining things, I would suggest to stay a little bit more sober when you are checking facts.

Dear Seriously?:
If you're talking about this, then I'm rolling my eyes at you through the computer.

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