X Factor, L.A. Reid, Nicole Scherzinger, Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell

Ray Mickshaw / FOX

Tonight was the final round of auditions and the contestants definitely did not disappoint. 'Cause Simon Cowell and company headed to New Jersey—the birthplace of GTL—in search of a non-Jersey Shore superstar (sorry, Snooki).

So who did we adore and who do we think should stick to fist-pumping in the club?

Best of the Bunch
Don't you dare look at his mom. ‘Cause Brian Bradley, a 14-year-old rapper from Brooklyn, was totally rocking the Brooklyn ‘tude. Yet the judges loved him. "You are arrogant, obnoxious, argumentative, but you are one of the most talented young people I've heard in a long, long time," Simon surprisingly gushed. "This is why I'm in New Jersey—I think you're fantastic."

Here's hoping he stays in the competition for a while, ‘cause we're guaranteed some serious drama!

Then there's Tora Woloshin, 21, who either wants to build racecars or be a popstar...whichever! Tora gave a bangin' performance of a Jackson Five song and even had Simon bobbing his head (a first on any show we've seen). "There was something about you the minute you walked out," Simon told the chica. "That's why this show is called The X Factor—it's more than just a voice, it's something else, and I think you could be special."

That still doesn't explain what "X factor" means, but whatever.

Enter Jazzlyne Little, a 16-year-old who was so nervous she couldn't stop shaking but ended up getting the only standing O of the night from the judges. We've got three words: ah-maz-ing! "I'd love to see what you're like when you've got confidence," Simon teased. "That's why we've made this show, Jazzlyne, to find people like you, to give them a platform. 'Cause you, I believe, could be a world star."

Hear that, peeps? You just saw a star being born.

Jersey Rejects
Remember Andy Silkovitz, the 43-year-old who openly admitted he's never kissed a girl? Can you say yikes?! "I've been single all my life," he boasted. But poor Andy! Trust, we really wanted him not to stink… which is exactly what he did. Oh well, looks like he won't be gettin' any loving. Unless he finds a gal who digs dudes without X factor.

Then there's Clarissa Cheatham, aka Cashmere, the 27-year-old office worker whose idol is Mariah Carey. Cash cracked Simon and Paula up when she admitted that her friends and family "scream" when she sings karaoke. Which should have been a warning of what was to come: Simon couldn't contain his laughter when the judges cut her song short. Unfortunately, tone-deaf Cashmere will not be getting her self-titled album anytime soon.

Next up, John Loup Wolfman, a 42-year-old life coach who came on stage hula hooping. After about two bars of torture John was asked to stop, at which point he blamed his poor performance on not being able to hear himself. "You're lucky," L.A. Reid bitched back, and we totally agree.

Losers aside, it's time for the real competition to begin now that auditions have wrapped. Next stop: boot camp!

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