Bow down before the one you serve.

In case you've been trapped in Purgatory, you know that Supernatural's Castiel (Misha Collins) has promoted himself to god.

We just screened Friday's season-seven premiere, and while we can't reveal too much (you'll thank us for not spoiling the surprises), know this: It is shocking, hilarious and sadder than hell.

If that's not enough for you, producers Sera Gamble and Robert Singer gave us some solid scoop about season seven—and great news for Jensen Ackles fans (i.e., all of humankind)—about Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean's storylines...

In God We...Trust? Misha Collins' "special guest star" billing in the premiere's opening credits says it all: Castiel is doomed. But he's not leaving the show without a fight, and our favorite former angel gives a drop-dead performance in the episode, which picks up right where season six ended. Cas alternates between terrifying and tragic, and although his "misplaced hubris and ego" results in a lot of smiting (motivational speakers be warned!), the producers told us it "comes from a pure place" in Cas' soul.  Plus, Misha told us,  "I very magnanimously decide not to kill Sam and Dean...I think that people are expecting something from Cas as the 'big bad' and for it to be a continuation of last season, and things are going to take a remarkably different turn very quickly."  (See "terrifying and tragic" above.)

What God Giveth... Castiel's loss is the Winchester brothers' gain, at least as far as screen time is concerned. While Sam teeters on the verge of "losing his marbles for good," Singer says, "Dean will have lots of issues this year that he's gonna have to deal with. He will [have] a rockier journey in an odd way— how he feels emotionally and the things he has to deal with—than probably any other season. He's on a real roller coaster." Episode four is a "turning point" for Dean, the producer says: "It's all about carrying guilt." In sum, "Jensen has plenty to do—probably more than [the newly married actor would] actually want." Danneel's loss is our gain!

Return of the King (of Hell): In last season's finale, Castiel let Crowley (Mark Sheppard) escape because he had "plans" for him, and he doesn't waste time retrieving the former crossroads demon in Friday's premiere. But unlike Castiel, Gamble said we'll see more of Crowley throughout the season: "He figures how to insert himself—there's a reason he's lived this long...As things evolve this season, we'll see him try to adapt," she said. "He's always fun, so we keep throwing stuff at him."  (We thought Castiel was pretty fun too. Just sayin'.)

Be My Guest: The casting of Buffy stars James Marsters and Charisma Carpenter as a married couple is not a coincidence, showrunner Gamble confirmed. SPN "worked really hard" to get the genre-specific stars on board, she said, which "speaks really directly to our fan base—our casting directors really understand the people who watch the show." Also guesting is quirky actor DJ Qualls, who plays an "off-the-grid" old acquaintance of Bobby's who helps out when Dean is "stuck in an emergency situation."  ("It's really awesome when you write a DJ Qualls type and you get DJ Qualls," Sera enthused.)  Jo (Alona Tal) makes her return in episode four, which also features "flashbacks to an episode she was in years ago," said Singer, adding,  "I was just blown away by what she did."

Are you blown away by this season-seven scoop? What will be Castiel's fate? Preach it in the comments!

PHOTOS: 2011 Comic-Con: Star Sightings!

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