January Jones

Fame Pictures; Murray Close/Twentieth Century Fox

Dear Ted:
The day I asked about January Jones popping, she indeed popped. About her baby daddy: I seriously think it must be someone from X-Men. Michael Fassbender is my top guess. What's your take on her drama? Frankly I love January for keeping it classy and not outing the baby daddy, but I still would like to know.

Dear Sex-Men:
Fassy ain't the father. But you can't have it both ways, babe. You either let the Mad Men mama have her privacy and keep her baby-daddy drama to herself (like she claims to want to) and stop the guessing game or, ya know, you keep guessing. That may be what January actually wants...

Dear Ted:
We've had lots of updates about Sally Pearlsmyth, but I'd love to hear more about delicious Percy DuBois. Any recent Vicey behavior? Is his prickly exterior simply a cover for his heartache? Can he recover from his diva attitude? Kisses from me and my pups Shadow and Buddy!

RELATED: Mad Men Stars Sound Off on January Jones' Baby-Daddy Drama

Dear Poor Percy:
Percy went through a lot of crap after his very sad saga with Sally, and that may be why he somewhat changed his formerly wild ways. I don't think he's a completely reformed dude, but he's a little older and a little wiser these days.

Dear Ted:
Here's the problem: The Twilight sex is going to be "faithful to the book." Well the book is just one big fade to black. Edward and Bella take a dip to warm his, ya know, body temp up. Then she awakes in feathers. I mean, scenes in Eclipse were more graphic. So while I want to see the steamy hotness, I am not encouraged. What do you think?

Dear Up All Night:
It's got to stay within the PG-13 parameters, Steph. So don't expect anything too graphic, but I'm sure it will definitely be a bit steamier than what wet noodle Stephenie Meyer could think up (no surprise there). I'm crossing my fingers with ya though that it's hot, hot, hot.

Dear Ted:
Jennifer Lopez
was photographed hanging out with Marc Anthony and the kids in Miami this past weekend. Is it possible that it really was an amicable split and that they're still friends, or as friendly as they can be, considering they're going through a divorce?

Dear Block Party:
Hardly, doll. It's all plastered-on smiles for the paparazzi these days. And while they can be cordial for the kids (and the biz), they're not friends. Things are definitely not amicable.

Dear Ted:
I've never seen two celebrities (I use the term loosely in Lily Collin's case) make such a big deal of the "are you dating or not" question, since Robsten. It's not rocket science. Yes or no? Taylor Lautner says they are dating, then he tells the interviewers he's single. Taylor and Lily did not even take a pic together at their own premiere! Bad blood? Or just being coy (more like annoying)?

Dear Robsten 2.0:
Well, why do you think they're doing it? Taylor had first-hand experience watching Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart keep their relaysh a secret and become big, huge mega stars, so he's trying to copy that. And brutally failing. There has to be at least some passion to keep people guessing.

Dear Ted:
I recently saw a photo of my beloved Alexander Skarsgård with some so-so mystery brunette. As my go-to gossip guy, would you please tell me if it's true or not (I'm hoping not, bad chica that I am) and if there is something going on. If so, how long do you guess it will last?

Dear Blondes Have More Fun:
A.Skars is not trying to rush into another relationship—far from it, B. He's playing the field. So I say good for him, get your flirt on Alex—even if it's with a brunette. Anything is more exciting than his fling with former boring blondie Kate Bosworth.

Dear Ted:
Has Portia Vajazzle done any television, or is she strictly a film actress?

Dear Gotta Start Somewhere:
She's done both, more of the former.

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