Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck, Violet Affleck, Seraphina Affleck

Brent/National Photo Group

Dear Ted:
How surprised where you to learn Bennifer 2.0 are expecting again? I thought I'd be hearing a joint statement of their separation instead of such news. Of course it's really nice for them, but will the kid just be an attempt for them to work on their marriage, or are they better?

Dear Pregnancy Pact:
Surprised? Hardly! Jennifer Garner is practically a baby-making machine. Plus, she's a mama bear who adores her kiddos, so it's not shocking that she's set to pop another one out soon. And as I've said before, Jennifer isn't trapping her hubby with another baby. Sure, I thought these two would split by now, but they've stuck it out. Mazel then, I guess.

Dear Ted:
I just can't get enough of Nelly Fang. His antics are hilarious and fun. Any new clues about who's met "The Captain" recently? Also, do you think Nelly and his publicist know you are writing about him? Do they simply not care?

Dear Searching for Tennille:
The Captain has kept plenty busy of late, rest assured, but Nelly is even busier, keeping his bed-hoppin' biz under wraps. Why? ‘Cause the delish dude knows that peeps are sniffing his sexy trail. Nelly isn't stupid, after all, and he doesn't want his Vicey secrets slipping to the pesky public.

Dear Ted:
Does Dianna Agron do any kinds of drugs (pot, coke, etc)? She's very pretty but seems aloof a lot of the time, like she's not all there. Also, what about those rumors that she's into girls? She's said in interviews that a bunch of people think she and Lea Michele have had a relationship.
—Just curiouser and curiouser

Dear Lesbian Lush:
A broad can't just be laid-back without popping pills on the side, doll? Well hate to break it to ya, but Di is just a mellow gal, no substance abuse required. And as for the girl-on-girl gossip, she's simply open minded about same-sex lovin' and there's nothing wrong with that. Doesn't mean she and Lea are snoggin' between takes.

Dear Ted:
Now that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are back together (he went to Toronto where she's shooting Total Recall in early July and then they were spotted all over New York over the weekend), do you think the breakup in March was a mere publicity stunt on J.T.'s part to promote Friends With Benefits as a single man? And will it actually last this time around?
—Mila Kunis Fan

Dear Timberbiel Redux:
Why Jess would ever want a romance rebound with her très famous ex is beyond me. But I can tell you this: Their split was very much the real deal (and long overdue, in my humble opinion). But I wouldn't count on things getting too serious with these two—Timberbiel is a relaysh that's destined for disaster.

Dear Ted:
I know this is going to come out of left field and probably sound dumb—feel free to mock my idiocy—but is Tooty Tile perhaps Will Smith?

Dear Rumor Monger:
You know what they say, D, there are no stupid Vice guesses, only stupid Vice stars, and this is hardly the worst guess for Mr. Tile. Will is in the Blind Vice Hall of Fame, but he's not Toothy.

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