True Blood, Stephen Moyer

John P. Johnson/HBO

We barely had time to hate on the so not-sexy shower scene (turned weirdo wilderness romp) last week before Sookie and her Bon Temps brethren were thrown into yet another life-or-true death sitch. Typical, no?

And things definitely weren't lookin' good: Sook (Anna Paquin) got shot and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) became the fanged be-yotch to one of those wicked witches. So what's King Bill do when things get tough?

RELATED: Alexander Skarsgård Gets All Kinds of Shirtless and Sweaty for His Latest Flick

Three's A Crowd…Or Is It? 

A little blood goes a long, lusty way. ‘Cause after Bill (Stephen Moyer) gave Sookie some of his, she went into one of her ususal soft-lit erotic dreams (complete with sexy lingerie and pumps, of course). Sookie and Bill weren't the only ones gettin' sexy in her R.E.M. state tho'… Eric was there too!

And while we didn't get a full-on threesome like we were hoping for, tensions between Team Eric and Team Bill are definitely heating up again—if only because the episode ended with Sookie's current BF (Eric) trying to kill her ex-BF (Bill).

Baby Mama Drama

So remember how Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) found out he was a medium and then likethat his body was possessed by an infant-snatchin' ghost? Well, the medium mania hit the fan this week as the crazy Creole lady stole baby Mikey and started a Britney Spears-like standoff with the police.

Thankfully, Laf's hunky magic boyfriend eased the sitch and helped dig up a dead baby for the ghost mama to love on. Creepy, duh, but at least she moved on to the other side or whatever. And we say good riddance to that plot line.

Team Jessason Rejoice

Or is it Jasessica? Either way, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) ended up gettin' it on tonight to the oh-so-sexy soundtrack of… Taylor Swift? Yep, the country cutie got the honor of providing the backdrop to the twosome's romp in the back of a pickup truck.

Now that's certainly something we never thought we'd see.

But consider us torn, ‘cause as hot as we think these two are (and, trust, they're definitely hot), we love us some Hoyt. At least we learned one thing from all of this: Jessica owns a copy of Twilight (didja manage to catch that?).

So now you tell us: Team Hoyt or Team Jason? Team Bill or Team Eric? Or, ya know, Team Alcide, just because his toosh looked so dang delish tonight.

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