Morning Bitch-Back! Is Lea Michele's Dude a Vicey Dud?

Readers wonder if the Glee gal is setting herself up for disaster with her current BF

By Ted Casablanca Aug 19, 2011 11:31 AMTags
Lea MicheleHumberto Carreno/startraksphoto.com

Dear Ted:
Is Lea Michele's Blind Vice name Carmelita Salami-Climber? Who wouldn't be jealous of that talent, and her boyfriend has always seemed a little bit on the metro side to me. I think the clues all fit. Am I right, Ted?
—Katie

Dear Deli Diva:
Sure, the clues may fit, but Lea is not our dubious Blind Vice, darling. Carmelita's looks are more envy-worthy than her showbiz skill set. Plus, CS-C is getting much more serious, much more quickly with her respective guy than Lea is with her spit-swappin' stud. But you sure get spunky credit!

Dear Ted:
If you dig really hard, Bennifer is back. On her Facebook they say they are together. Jennifer Garner should be locking up her man. Please don't bring my name into this. Thanxs.
—B

Dear Sally Snitcher:
Hate to break it to ya, blabbermouth, but this is so not Facebook official. And FYI, do you really think if crafty J.Lo was running around with Ben Affleck she'd post about it on a social media site? Jenny G. keeps better tabs on her man than that.

Dear Ted:
You have readers even in Bosnia! But I need your help. I just discovered True Blood and would like to know more about our favorite vampire Alexander Skarsgård. Will his character Eric stay with Sookie? What do your trusted sources in Hollywood say? And what do they say about the actor himself? What is he like? Cannot believe someone as handsome as him was with an emaciated blonde like Kate Bosworth. Please shed some light on his personality.
—Grateful A

Dear Late to the Party:
Doll, you've got Skarsholm Syndrome! Don't worry, tho, we have it too and, trust, you don't want a cure. We aren't even close to seeing the end of Sookie and Eric's steamy relaysh. As for Eric's real-life counterpart, Alex is a cool dude, for the most part. As I'm sure you already know though, he's definitely one of my fave Vicers.

Dear Ted:
I'm enjoying the Hildago Van Buren Vice quite a bit—it reminds me of my favorite board game, Clue. So how's my detective work? I think it's Jesse Tyler Ferguson, seduced by Chace Crawford, at the Teen Choice Awards! How did I do?
—Lisa

Dear Clued In:
Your detective work is good, Sherlock, but you have a bit more sniffing around to do. Jesse is a fab guess for Hildy himself, but you're a bit colder on his horny (and "straight" pal). Think more famous.

Dear Ted:
Re: Tom Cruise as Reacher. Though this will mark my age, I seem to remember this same flub occurred when he was cast as Lestat in Interview With the Vampire back in the '90s. I started watching it about halfway through the other week and tried to remember why I thought it sucked so hard when it came out—and then Lestat appeared onscreen at the end. Will that man ever realize not all movie leads were written for him?
—CM

Dear Cruisin' for Answers:
Probably not. At least not when studios are still willin' to dole out the big bucks to see him on the big screen.