Snow White Cast

AP Photo

Dear Ted:
I know we all will be angling for a Kristen Stewart hookup during filming of Snow White and the Huntsman, but I gotta say, they're looking at the wrong lady. Tell us, Ted, did you also notice how the yummy Chris Hemsworth was very much into Charlize Theron? I know that Chris is married, but come on, we also know that this is Hollywood, and that unfortunately marriage vows do not come into play during filming. Although Charlize looks a bit like a cold goddess, I foresee Chris trying to reach for her. What do you think of this hot duo? You must know a thing or two by now or on-set shenanigans!

Dear Sex-Free Set:
You're right, that marriage certainly hasn't stopped costars from cuddling up (and more) in the past, but I'm thinking this is going to be a very scandal-free set. How très boring, but whatever. At least Robsten fans won't fret!

Dear Ted:
Were you basing your moniker for Caesar Anchovy-Arse on the fact that most readers of E! Online probably don't read Shakespeare?

Dear Book Brat:
No, doll, it's just what I thought of when his greasy ass came to mind. Who am I to assume that my goss-lovin' readers don't spend their free time brushing up on their sonnets or tragedies?

Dear Ted:
Does Sharon Stone have a B.V., and does it involve any kind of deal with Satan to keep her disarmingly youthful? And so not in a Madonna way with those sketchy skeleton hands. Honestly she must after seeing this picture. I think she might be the best choice for the young Carrie Bradshaw! (Do you see it?) What gives? Good genes, good docs or great deal with the devil?

Dear Romancing the Stone:
If Shar had a B.V., it would be from the Paleozoic era. That said she is Vice-free...or at least moniker-free. As for a deal with the devil, c'mon, D.G.. You know these T-town chicks makes deals with much more trust-worthy peeps.

Dear Ted:
Was Zac Efron the closeted Hollywood hunk that propositioned Hildago Van Buren? Please don't tell me it was my favorite vampire Robert Pattinson. I don't think my Edward-loving heart could take it.

Dear Hairy Situation:
Oh puh-lease, Robert Pattinson is so not Mister Van Buren or his closeted suitor. And neither is Zacky. Both of these two dudes have been Vicing for way too long to have just made their debut appearance in the blolumn.

Dear Ted:
I am unwilling to accept this Dirty Dancing remake if they modernize it and put any hip-hop in it at all. I'm sorry, Step Up and its sequels are just lame. And I watch the previews for the Footloose remake. It makes me sad. The original Dancing is part of the reason I learned to social dance when I was a teen, and how I got into blues dancing, the original dirty dance from the 1920s and '30s. It's a dance form that was revived with the swing craze and people do it all over the world now. Very sexy. I suppose it's too much to hope that Kenny Ortega would use that style as a backdrop?
—Bright Star

Dear Time Traveler:
Gotta say doll, as much as I love the oldies and goodies, I totes appreciate our modern moves as well. Duh it will never be the original, and duh I'm so over the Step Up sequels, but you know this reboot isn't going to be a shot-for-shot, dance-move-for-dance-movie copy of the original. That said, Kenny knows the pressure he's under, so I think he'll be way careful.

Dear Ted:
My favorite rock duo is Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani, and except for Gavin's whole unexpected kid a couple of years ago, they seem to be so...normal! I'm wondering if their respective Vices are lying dormant while they raise their adorable boys? Or are they just as low-key and Vice-free as they seem?

Dear LAMBy Love:
Gwevin's a bit eccentric (bonus love child included), but they're actually more low-key with their rocker lives than you might think. Tho, we do enjoy it when they hit the town, if only to see little Kingston is his designer duds. Too cute!

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