Alexandra Wyman/WireImageDear Ted:
I have always believed that James Franco was a favorite of yours. Yet, you haven't covered Rise of the Planet of the Apes. What are your expectations of the film? And has he been up to anything Vicey lately?
—Hayley
Dear Planet of the Vice:
I'm sure the flick will do fine, babe. Franco's got big-screen cred and the franchise is well-known. That said, the flick actually looks pretty decent—and has cutie Tom Felton in it, to boot! As for the Vice stuff, of course James (who's naturally one of my all-time faves) is still up to his naughty extracurricular activities. Would you expect anything less?
Dear Ted:
We know from you previously that Slurpa Pop-Off tows the bi line, and well, Morgan Mayhem is Morgan after all. So I was wondering if you felt these two were doing anything more than just partying. Are Slurpa and Morgan a couple?
—Evelyn
Dear Vice-on-Vice Lovin':
I wouldn't put it past either of ‘em. And if they're going to swap their femme fluids with anyone, they might as well do it with each other and spare the rest of Hollyweird. But as of now, these two are strictly party pals.
Dear Ted:
I have a question about a couple that you hardly ever hear any news about: Freida Pinto and Dev Patel. I know she's been out promoting her new film lately and it had me wondering: Are they still together? I loved them in Slumdog Millionaire and think they are an adorable couple. Any news on them.
—TinaMarie
Dear Millionaire Matchmaker:
Even though hottie Freida has been canoodling on camera with the likes of James Franco and Superman himself, Henry Cavill, she is still very much with her first cutie costar, Dev. They've kinda got the whole Robsten thing going on where they're OK being separated by continents for their respective careers. See, it's not so crazy after all? But unlike Kristen Stewart, Freida even 'fesses that Dev is her soul mate. How adorable is that?
Dear Ted;
You've answered both of my previous emails, so lets see if we can go three for three. Today I am wondering about two Blind Vices. Did Priscilla Desert recently cancel some shows because of a coke problem? And is Debbie Doobie's first name Olivia, as in Wilde or Munn?
—DS
Dear Third Time's the Charm:
No and no, babe. But you're much closer with your snoopin' on the second Vice you mentioned. That said, both Olivias have different monikers to mask their dirty little secrets. But the fact that both O-babes have B.V.s isn't shocking in the least, right?
Dear Ted:
I have asked this question, like, five times. Here we go: Was Kristen Stewart upset when she found out about the Details photo shoot with the naked models? I can't imagine that she was thrilled about it. Is that why they might have taken a small break at the beginning of 2010? Come on, Ted, please answer.
—Allison
Dear Stewing the Pot:
Stop livin' in the past, Alli! That vagina-phobic photo shoot is so old news. But since it seems to be plaguing you to this day, I'll fill you in: K.Stew didn't give an eff! It's not like Rob was bangin' the babes on the side; it was strictly work. If she got jealous every time he canoodled with some chick on camera, their relaysh would never last.
Dear Ted:
Am I the only one disappointed with the lack of passion and heat between Alexander Skarsgård and his onscreen fairy Anna Paquin? When the moment finally arrived for Eric and Sookie to hook up, I was expecting heat, passion, deep kisses and for him to finally take her with a bit of ferocity. But no, it was cold, mechanical...an absolute letdown. Now Sookie and Bill, those two had heat, and accordingly so, for both actors are married in real life. But shouldn't Anna and Alex work even harder on giving the audience something more believable?
—Rita
Dear From the Top:
Yes, you're the only one.