Jemal Countess/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
I just saw a picture of Demi Lovato wearing a shirt that says "The Only Coke I Do Is Diet." Seems she wants everyone to know she's on the wagon. What say you? Is she in the clear, or still in danger of going the route of Lindsay Lohan? I'm rooting for her!
—Lisa
Dear Future Lohan:
Poor Demi may have hit a rough patch, but I think it would take something drastic to throw this young starlet off the recovery track. She's definitely headed in the right direction. She's much smarter than Lohan, much.
Dear Ted:
Do you hear anything about Matthew Perry's sobriety? Last I read he was headed for another stint at rehab, but unless I missed something, there haven't been any updates on his release. Has he ever been a B.V.?
—P
Dear Perry Prognosis:
Despite Perry's battle with substance abuse, let's just say he's not off the B.V. hook quite yet. That said, Matthew is no Lohan. The guy's genuine and really desires to live cleanly. Unlike certain other messes.
Dear Ted:
I understand that Ryan Murphy wants to keep things "realistic" on Glee, but how far will the show go with new characters? Fans love Glee and its characters in its current incarnation. Do you really think a whole new cast will keep the show going at its current pace? Or will it go the route of Friday-night obscurity, as many other shows with significant cast changes have?
—M
Dear Friday Fate:
Regardless of how horrible future seasons are, Glee is such a money maker I doubt it will ever venture into the dreaded Friday-night slots.
Dear Ted:
What's the latest on Strippa Rip-Ya? I just hate hearing that someone is being abused like that. Any sign of her leaving Caesar Anchovy-Arse yet?
—S
Dear Excellent Question:
Never thought I'd say this, but things are looking up. Stay tuned.
Dear Ted:
You mentioned last month that Vanessa Hudgens has "dubiously dabbled" in Vice-worthy activity, but had yet to "bounce up to feature player." So is Hudgens starring in her own Blind Vice yet, or is she still dutifully dull?
—M.M.
Dear Vicey V:
Vanessa hasn't quite made it to the big leagues yet, but if we know Baby V, she'll be called up in no time!
Dear Ted:
Just saw a photo of Jessica Simpson wearing a clingy beige dress. There is no denying that girlfriend is gorgeous. Is she perhaps using the old celeb trick of carrying a big designer bag to hide more than her wonderful curves?
—Oli
Dear Slim Simpson:
Whether you are insinuating that Jess went under the knife to get her newly toned bod or that she's preggers, I'm not quite sure. But I am so bored with this conversation. Women's bodies—just like men's!—change. I've gained six pounds because I stopped smoking. That will go away. People go through phases, let's let them, shall we?