Lady Gaga

AP Photo/Wong Maye-E

Dear Ted:
I recently read that a new biography is being written about Lady Gaga. In this biography it is being alleged that the real reason Gaga wears so many wigs and so much makeup is to cover up her hair loss and rashes. The side effects of her extreme eating disorder. I call shenanigans. After all, we are born this way. What say you?

Dear Dangerous Little Monster:
True, the Lady has slimmed down quite a bit, but girl was donning wigs and face paint long before that. Don't you think she'd wear something a little tamer, and with more fabric, if she was just trying to hide herself? Nuh-uh honey, Gaga just dances to her own über-catchy soundtrack.

Dear Ted:
Considering how quickly a celeb can get themselves in hot water in the Twitter age, I have to imagine the website is a PR person's nightmare. Are there any Vices who have been preemptively banned from tweeting, for fear their secrets would come tumbling out in one uncensored moment

Dear Tweaky Tweeters:
Most def. But instead of shutting off Twitter for good, they send in the PR people to post. Terribly boring, but it keeps the Vices from slipping out of their client's impulsive little fingers.

Dear Ted:
Did you ever get any info on what Robert Pattinson was like back in his Harry Potter days?
—Water Gurl

Dear Pattz and Potter:
Just as cute and just as Vicey.

Dear Ted:
Blake Lively
is known for being a bit of a fame whore. She poses for paps, and attends almost every movie premiere. However, since she started dating Leonardo DiCaprio, she's been quiet and, dare I say, is less of a girl-about-town. Is her new low-profile attitude something that Leo has demanded of her? We all know how low-key he is, and her sudden change of character is a polar opposite from her natural attention-seeking ways.
—Master and Commander

Dear Less Lively:
You think B's been quiet? You're joking. No, my dear, she's been playing up her relaysh with Leo big time. In fact, getting snapped with Leo has been the Gossip girl's main mode of defense for those nudey photos. Even if she's toned it down a bit since her movie premiere, Blake's still a girl-about-town.

Dear Ted:
Why have you not commented or called out Kate Middleton on her skeletor frame. She has taken the whole wedding diet to another level and is quickly withering away. I mean she is nonexistent! Look at old photos for proof. P.S. My pooch says hello and would like for Kate to eat a sandwich too.

Dear Diet Disaster:
We've noticed, trust. Just getting all the dirt we can before we let you know what's really going down.

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