Megan Fox, Robert Pattinson

Michael Buckner/Getty Images; Charley Gallay/Getty images

Dear Ted:
So, I remember you catching gossip about Megan Fox and Robert Pattinson briefly hooking up years back. I didn't buy it. But now we have Shia LaBeouf talking about schtupping the babe, and did you ever see this video of Rob's reaction to Megan at the Teen Choice Awards? This was one of the first award shows with Kristen Stewart after they had started dating and Rob's face has some buyer's remorse going on there. So, with Shia's confession, are you even more inclined to say Megan and Rob had a quick something that Rob put the brakes on just as quickly? I say yes.

Dear History Lesson:
Emphasis on quick, babe. And just to remind you: This Rob-Meg romance went down pre-K.S., so no need to freak out. That vid was pretty damn funny, Ri, and just goes to show that R.Pattz was one man that foxy Fox couldn't charm. Shocking, huh? But like her rep said way back when: "[Megan] has literally met Rob twice. She went to coffee with Shia the other day, so they must be hooking up too, right?" Uh, yeah, guess so!

Dear Ted:
In your item about Josh Hutcherson and Cory Monteith working for Straight but Not Narrow, did you mean to say "gays talking gays"? What are you saying? Are those Chris Colfer rumors true then? And what about Vanessa Hudgens? Is that all fake?

RELATED: Shia LaBeouf (Finally) Confirms Megan Fox Hookup!

Dear Gays Guys:
Typo, I pinky swear! Both of these dudes are very much lady lovers—in fact, when it comes to secrets, I've don't have very much dirt on Cor or Josh. Like, none, really. They leave the Vicey stuff to their castmates.

Dear Ted:
Has Strippa Rip-Ya stopped being in denial about her situation yet? Any sign of her leaving Caesar Anchovy-Arse?

Dear Stripped Down:
Sadly, no. If anything, Strippa is in more denial about her no-good dude than ever. As much as her pals (and I, of course) would like her to pack up and ditch the a-hole, I don't see it happening anytime soon.

Dear Ted:
Adding my congrats on your giving up the cigs. As appalled as I am by the allegations on Tai's treatment during training, I am still bemused by Reese Witherspoon's stance on Young Hollywood getting naked to get ahead. I know she was referring to sex tapes which are indeed TMI, but there are other ways to do the same thing. A few decades before the Robsten Twilight there was a film by that title starring an unknown kid named Reese Witherspoon. Young Reese didn't appear to have an issue with disrobing on camera for her big scene. A bit of hypocrisy, no?

Dear Double Standard:
Thing is, we know exactly what R.W. would argue back: It's all for the art, darling. And to be fair, the nudity in this par-tick flick is a bit classier than, say, leaked pics from a cell phone. I still agree that her good-girl spiel is slightly preachy, tho for other reasons, really.

Dear Ted:
Gotta few questions about Fey Oiled-Tush. How would you describe his relationship with his beard? Lovers? Business partners? Acquaintances? Friends? Do they ever hang out and enjoy each other's company? I, like others who have written to you, am curious how these bearding situations work. And here's a question that you may not answer...How did Fey find his beard? Did his people call her people?

Dear Tush Tastic:
Total business sitch set up by their respective people. The two get along fine most of the time, but they are far from in love. And lovers? Ew. Not a chance! But the whole, messy ordeal is working for them at the moment. Fey gets to play straight and his "lady" gets a little more time in the limelight. Just wonder how long it can last...

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