Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf

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Dear Ted:
Much to my husband's chagrin, I have been a huge fan of Shia LaBeouf we watched Disturbia. (In all fairness to my husband, it was Disturbia or Twilight, and he thought it was the lesser of two evils). Have you read Shia's comments about his behind-the-scenes hanky panky with Megan Fox? Go Shia! It has to be true, right? I feel like Ms. Fox is no stranger to on-set romances. What say you?

Dear Where's the Beouf?
Shia isn't exactly shy, is he? I think it's a bit douchey that he blabbed about possibly bedding the now-wedded gal, but that's not exactly out of line with S.L.'s character. The Taco Bell incident and the Robert Pattinson name drop kind of made up for it. I will say that Shia should spend a little more time worrying about his Vices instead of talking about Meg's.

Dear Ted:
I'm getting kind of sick of Alexander Skarsgård. The True Blood season four premiere was a huge disappointment. That whole "lost year" business reminded me of Dallas—how easy to just lose a year rather than face up to the fact that they almost ruined the show with all that crap in season three. Anyway, back to Skars. Sick, sick, sick of him! Give me another handsome star to follow in fandom. I need the distraction!

RELATED: Shia LaBeouf (Finally) Confirms Megan Fox Hookup!

Dear Bloody Wrong:
That's Awful Truth blasphemy, babe! And must say that I'm shocked. A.Skars looked absolutely delish in the season premiere—no matter what you thought of the time travel and whatnot. Can't wait to see him and Sooks get it on, but don't fret: There's always Joe Manganiello to lust after.

Dear Ted:
Why has there been so much Robert Pattinson hatred lately? Actually, it has been going on for a while, but it has been getting downright nasty as of late. I know he is an easy target for haters because of his outrageous personality that comes out at times and the Edward persona, but enough is enough. I know actors have their nasties though. What is your opinion on this?

Dear Pattz Prob:
Actually, it usually isn't Twilight haters or Nonstens going out of their way to pick on Pattz. It's Krisbians and other Kristen Stewart luvahs. And trust, when rumors of Rob wronging the babe (which, FYI, are untrue) hit the web, hell hath no fury like a K.Stew fan burned. Time to relax, everyone!

Dear Ted:
Don't know if this is your department, but Kate Middleton needs some protein, don't you think? I just hate to see the immense pressure getting to her. Any idea if this will be just a phase?

Dear Royal Woes:
It's definitely not easy hanging in the same cliché as the queen, babe, but there's nothing Vicey to report on our fave newlywed. Sure, she's skinny, but it's not like she's Duchess of Skeletorbridge. Maybe K will meet up with Pippa and her paparazzi pals for a burger soon—we'd just love to see those pics.

Dear Ted:
I always thought that the George Clooney gay rumors had to do with the fact that he wants to spend more time with his male friends than with females. I think most females are jealous that he's more interested in spending his free time with guys. I'm a middle-aged, female, and never been married. Once I hit 35 I started getting comments about what's wrong with me, I'm too picky, she must be gay, etc. I think throughout history women have had it much harder than men in society if they don't marry by a certain age. I'm considered an old maid/spinster, but guys are just "happy go lucky bachelors."
—Miss P

Dear Single and Lovin' It:
How about we just compromise and say it's hard on both dudes and chicks when they reach a par-tick age and haven't walked down the aisle? While G.C. is fending off gay rumors, Jennifer Aniston is fielding concern that she'll end alone with 15 cats. There really isn't a happy-go-lucky bachelor or bachelorette club in H'wood that doesn't have to deal with tabloid talk.

Dear Ted:
Will Elisabetta Canalis and her PR pals ever tell the awful truth?

Dear Clooney Confidential:
Doubt it, babe. While I'm sure that E has plenty of dirt to dish on George (and vice versa), the split wasn't bad enough that I expect either side to go badmouthing the other. These two will wage their war in rebound relayshes, I'm sure.

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