Heidi Montag

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Heidi Montag, or as we know her: Herpes Simplex 2, told Us Weekly that for the past two months, she's been working out from 5 a.m. to 7 p.m. in order to prepare for her important job of hosting a pool party. I had Chuy do the math on that, and after getting it wrong six times, he came to the conclusion that she was working out for 14 hours a day. That seems like over kill, especially since she had her whole body remade. Apparently she's been running a lot, which I'm sure feels great on the beach balls she had implanted in her chest. She told the magazine that she had recently been "overweight...because I've kind of been in hiding eating pie." Go back into hiding, but leave some pie for the rest of us, girl.

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