Gerardo More/Getty Images; BABIRAD/SIPADear Ted:
So now you're trying to justify the hatred for LeAnn Rimes and nullify any potential hatred for Jennifer Aniston by pretending that the deep, deep hatred for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt doesn't, and never, existed? (Blinks.) Ted, are you truly saying that a multitude of people never posted extremely vile and negative comments about Angie and Brad...well, mainly about Angie...in defense of poor, pitiful Jen on your blog? And for goodness sake man, what is your damage with LeAnn Rimes? I love you babe, but come on!
—Yvette
Dear Homewreckers Anon:
Hardly, babe. I said that the reason LeAnn's backlash may seem so much worse than A.J.'s is 'cause Angelina was a huge megamovie star before she was slapped the "husband stealer" label, so she had legions of fans willing to defend her. A lot of people outside the country circuit don't know L.R. for anything more than snatching men and tweeting bikini pics. Trust, I more than anyone of the Angie hate.
Dear Ted:
What is up with the sudden bromance between Andrew Garfield and Garrett Hedlund? Even when pictured with hot chicks like Olivia Wilde and Megan Fox, they seem to only have eyes for each other. How do these two even know each other? Hearts.
—Amanda
Dear Beach Buddies:
They run in the same circle of friends, A—it was bound to happen eventually. H'wood is a smaller town than you'd think, especially for über-hot up-and-comers. But you're getting a little carried away with the bromance stuff, don't count the Vice before the scandal.
Dear Ted:
Did Crescent Kumquat Vice before he got well known?
—L
Dear Kum Hither:
Of course! Sure, it got about a billion times bigger—and more exciting—once he made a name for himself and his gorge puss was plastered everywhere, but all Vicers start out small, Cres no exception.
Dear Ted:
What's up in Robsten's paradise? Kristen has free time, but she's not visiting Rob is Toronto, and Rob seems to be out and about almost every night. Don't tell me they are fine, 'cause clearly they are not.
—Lily
Dear Paradise Paranoia:
But they are fine, Lil. That's the problem! Fans freak out just 'cause R and K aren't stuck at the hip every second, but the couple—ya know, the ones actually in the relaysh—are far more relaxed than that. They know what their status is, and it isn't changing anytime soon.
Dear Ted:
Let me ask another way: How charitable is King Schlong? Please send prayers our way for my 14 y.o. Keeshond rescue dog, Tasha. I adopted her 13 years ago, and she is in the doggy hospital right now for a serious kidney infection. Sniff.
—Donna and Tasha
Dear Helping Hand:
When you say charity, do you mean helping out a good cause or throwing a bone to some horny babe (or occasional boy) at a swanky Hollywood event? Cause the King does both. Best of luck to your pup and kisses to you, mama!
Dear Ted:
How about looking into your crystal ball and attempting to predict Toothy Tile's future? Is T.T. more likely to (a) out himself, (b) be outed in a scandal or (c) remain closeted forever?
—Evelyn
Dear Blue Balled:
B or C, these days, tho it's seeming more like C. Such a shame too.