Cory Monteith

Ben King/

Dear Ted:
Had my birthday yesterday and was hoping as a gift, you could answer the question that's been on my mind lately: how close is my fave Glee hunk, Cory Monteith, to getting a Blind Vice moniker? Hugs & kisses to you and the team!

 Dear Blind Bore:
Babe, that would be the most boring Blind Vice ever. Cory is a total stand up gentlemen, for the most part, which is good for him—and any of the hunnies he happens to hit on when out on the town with his more salacious Gleeks. Leave the no good, juicy goss to his castmates. They're so much more delish when it comes to the dirt.

Dear Ted:
RE: Shafterella...Total SEXISM! If this woman is working "behind the scenes" as well, that means that she is a director or producer. Of course she is going to have her assistants, managers, agents, business managers, etc. do the work for her that they are paid to do. That includes canceling the scheduling of business meetings, movies contracts, lunch appointments, and firing people. If her man happens to work professionally in the industry, it makes sense that he would participate in the business as well. If this BV were about a man, it would be called "another day at the office".

Dear Cry Wolf:
Don't burn that bra yet, Kriss—you know I love a strong woman as much as you seem to, and I don't play into that double standard BS H'wood loves to dish out. You've got it all wrong tho. While Shafty is sure to get her professional peers to handle certain biz (that much you are right about), she likes to let her high-powered pals handle way personal biz in totally inappropriate ways. Not cool, male or female.

Dear Ted:
I am at a cookie convention in Chicago and some of the crumbs here are wondering if George Clooney tells the women he dates what they want to hear? Or do they only hear what they want? My favorite cookie is the Milano, what's yours?

Dear Cookie Monster:
Georgie? He's a schmoozer for sure, but he has never made his commitmentphobia a secret, unlike a lot of other eligible bachelors in this town who will wine and dine a woman just to get into her pants before leaving her in the lurch. G.C. is a classy player, if that even exists. As for the cookies, I'll take any these days—damn you, cigarettes!

Dear Ted:
I was just wondering if one, or both, of the Deschanel sisters has a B.V. If so, is it a starring one? I think both sisters are great! Love ya.

Dear My Sister's Keeper:
Nope, Zooey and Emily are Vice free. They like to leave the scandalous stuff up to their costars, for the most part. But there may be some family drama come this fall when the two are fighting for ratings on the small screen. Just FYI, Z.D.'s pilot is hi-lar-ious.

Dear Ted:
Your Ditch, Do, or Marry game is fun when at least one of the people on this list is sexy, but your Real Housewives choices are gross. Ditch, ditch and ditch! These ladies' husbands don't even want to sleep with them, so why would we? Besides, that show is watched mostly by gay men and straight old women, a demographic of people highly unlikely to want to bang any of them. What were you thinking? Has quitting smoking got your sense of reality a little mixed up?

Dear Yuck Factor:
Ah, but that's the most fun part of the game, sugar. You gotta pick even if the thought of bangin' one of those broads makes you want to barf. That's the rules, after all. So boohoo to you, pick already! And you may like our next round of the game a little bit better—especially if you happen to be a chuckle f--ker.

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong Robert Pattinson. Do you think he ever cheats on K.Stew?
—Zippy Liverpool

Dear Short and Sweet:
No and no. Rob's Vice is far more complex than the King's.

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