We know. It's been hard to concentrate on anything other than the announcement this week that Bachelor Pad will reunite Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi. Or was it the new season of Bait Car? Either way, dig into the Soup you missed.

1. The Bachelorette: Poor Ashley Hebert. First her boobs are insulted, then two-faced Bentley pretends to be sympathetic. Who knows why, he left the show before he could even have sex with her. Oh, the humanity...

One down, four to go...

2. The Voice: Blake Shelton knows what he likes. Good singing and a gal with a shaved head in a military jacket.

3. Sister Wives: Amid the sheer, piggish joy of one man bedding down a different woman four nights a week that rogue Mormon Kody Brown wallows in, there is a serious downside. Don't you want to see what that is?

4. The Real L Word: If you enjoy watching attractive lesbians making passionate love, if for some reason that interests you, then click here. But if you're looking for said lesbians to use a strap-on, you're out of luck.

5. Live With Regis and Kelly: Those sexy, unpredictable Kardashians showed up to dazzle aging Reeg with their well-displayed curves and say-anything joie de vivre. Need we say more?

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