Blind Vice: Shafterella Shoshstein Leaves the Evil Conniving to Others

Shafterella Shoshstein and Cruella St. Shackles really should make a movie together. After all, these two mega-manipulators are made for each other!

A new version of Thelma &  Louise, maybe? Nah, a remake of Black Swan would be better, with Shafterella playing the crafty Natalie Portman part, and Cruella going for Winona Ryder's tragic, aging diva character.

But, dolls, we are way off topic here, which is to report that real-life power manipulator Shafterella has been corralling her friends to...

Do her dirty work for her.

Now, it's no surprise that Ms. S.—whose multi-talents apparently extend behind the camera, as well—has been demanding that those who are employed by her do her nasty bidding for years. This is pretty much legend. Whether it's been dropping friends, movies or lunch dates, those not-nice tasks have always been left to those on Shafterella's payroll—all so Shafty can plead innocence if ever confronted and proclaim, "Why I had no idea they did that..."

But S2's gotten so used to the Teflon way of life, she's now started to get her friends—as well as her man—in on the act, having them send messages of preachy recrimination to those who displease Shafterella (trust us, the list is looong).

Hmmm. Is this the reason Shafty's coterie of BFFs is not quite what it once was? And is that the reason Ms. Shoshstein's been putting a few too many away lately? Oh my, the nasty domino gossip effect just keeps going on and on—it's all too yummy for words!

Just don't let Shafty catch you talking about any of this, or she'll send one of her humorless and unattractive mouthpieces (whether paid or not, Shafty always makes it a point to surround herself with less pretty people, always has) to tear you a new a-hole!

Bitch knows the right devil messenger service to use!

AND IT AIN'T: Nicole Kidman, Cindy Crawford, Christina Aguilera