Afternoon Bitch-Back! Twilight Fans Bite Back—Hard!

Readers are mad that their vamps have been victimized...so they say

By Ted Casablanca May 25, 2011 8:15 PMTags
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN-PART 1, ROBERT PATTINSON, KRISTEN STEWARTAndrew Cooper/ Summit Entertainment

Dear Ted:
Gee wiz Ted, you really stuck that knife in the back of every Twilight fan that has supported the Awful Truth over the years with your "major put down" of Twilight by saying that a reason Hunger Games is better is because of the "Oscar nominated cast." Really? What an insult to the Oscar winning directors Chris Weitz and Bill Condon, Oscar nominated actresses Anna Kendrick and Catlina Sandino Moreno, BAFTA winners Kristen Stewart and Michael Sheen, SAG bominees Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning, not to mention the Oscar winning and nominated crews. I tell you what, now that you've established THGs is better than Twilight, it'll have no problem breaking every box office record. Heck, Twilight's only an indie film anyway. Shouldn't be a problem with all its Oscar nom headliners.
—pg

Dear Bitchy Bloodsucker:
Oh, don't get your Pattinson-loving panties in a twist. The most insulting thing I said was that The Hunger Game books are better than the Twilight series—which, with a resounding DUH, they are. Love the Twi cast and I've always been vocal how I adamantly think K.Stew and company have buckets of star-power, but I've never been shy to say the books and adapted movies aren't fully taking advantage of this talent.

Dear Ted:
What did Sunny Sweet-Cheeks do to earn her own moniker? She seemed pretty boring to me in your Vice.
—SL

Dear Sunny Side Up:
SSC's biggest flaw is her taste in men, cause Rick wasn't the only guy that turned out to be a total loser (or gay, come to think of it). She might not be as scandalous as her Vicey peers, but we adore her none the less!

Dear Ted:
I'm curious whether your Blind Vices are current events? Or do you hang onto them for a while and unveil them at a later date? I imagine maybe they might sometimes be too obvious if you do a BV at the same time as they might be in the tabloids for a situation like a breakup. My gorgeous rescue doodle, Lola, wants to know your modus operandi!
—Cee

Dear 411 911:
Most Vices are current—like still-tainted-with-the-stench-of-that-skanky-star's-naughty-deed current. Some are stuff that happened in the past but I find Vicey enough to fill you in on, but those Vices are few and far between (and I let you know in the Blind itself, duh).

Dear Ted:
Do you think Taylor Swift will ever change her image, or will she always stay as the girl next door?
—L

Dear Swift Fan:
Do I think she will pull a Miley or Taylor Momsen? Hell, no! At least not publicly, that is. And why should she? That whole cute as a button routine is working damn well for her so far, right?

Dear Ted:
You said a while back that there's an imminent scandal that could significantly damage Fey-Oiled Tush's career? Care to give any more details?
—F

Dear Fey's Wising Up:
Probably will be Toothy Tile scandalizing us first, I dare say.

Dear Ted:
After seeing the live footage from Glee Live! On Tour! I was wondering if any of the cast members are currently dating? I do believe I could see some definitive flirting going on. Come on, spill! Are there any girl/boy, girl/girl, boy/boy shenanigans going on when the curtain drops? As you said before, these kids are both Vicey and spicy! So tell me, pleeeeease, or I'll sick my pug on you. And he's eyeing your photo as we speak.
—Sarah

Dear HR Nightmare:
Let's just say, life imitates art on this one. There's definitely as many hook up and break ups behind the scenes as there are on camera.

Dear Ted:
Is Betty Draper going to be on pregnancy number 4 or is the fashion plate going to be shot from the waist up all season? January Jones seems a stubborn dim bulb, a bit like Halle Berry. Am I close?
—Lance

Dear Mad Woman:
Not sure on whether J.J.'s onscreen alter-ago will get knocked up, but I wouldn't exactly say Jan is a dim bulb. She might actually be a little bit brilliant...in that whole evil, Hollywood way. But she's no Halle—in many ways.

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