Morning Bitch-Back: Are Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Too Young to Play?

Readers worry about private time between Bieber and Gomez on vacation

By Ted Casablanca May 24, 2011 10:41 AMTags
Justin Bieber, Selena GomezKevin Mazur/WireImage.com

Dear Ted:
If I had a 17 year old, there is no way I would let him go on a romantic vacation with a girlfriend, especially one that is two years older than him. But apparently, Justin Bieber and his parents don't agree. Isn't there a huge possibility that they might have sex, and god forbid, Selena Gomez gets preggers? Isn't that the worst case scenario for Justin's people? Why are they letting him do this? Please tell me I am not crazy and not just being the paranoid parent.
—R

Dear Naive:
No, you are not being paranoid. But you are being less than observant of the day-to-day temptations that exist for these highly famous kids. They are constantly in situations where it's easier than not to be naughty (and not only on vacations). I've heard through highly reliable sources Selena's been better at avoiding those tempting moments than Justin has, so maybe this vacay together time is a good thing for the guy!

Dear Ted:
Please
tell me that Rick Danger-Zip is not Ryan Gosling...all the clues fit with him and Rachel McAdams, but I want to believe he's a good guy!
SK in D.C.

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Dear Deviled Crabs:
What an excellent guess for the dude who passed along his creepy-crawly STD, babe! Clues kinda do all add up. Only problem, it's not him. Think someone much less of a movie star but in just as good of shape.

Dear Ted:
With all the recent breakups and would-be rocky Hollywood relationships, I have brought it upon myself to start just giving these broken-up celeb's some rebound fun. Let's first start with Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron. I think Vanessa should date Liam Hemsworth and break up with Miley Cyrus so Miley can date Zac. Those would be equally hot couples. Next would be Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar. I think Jake Gyllenhaal should date Bar. Leo can go date some other guy, for all I care about him. Justin Timberlake is a no brainer. He needs to hook up with Mila Kunis. How do you like my new pairs?
—Jen

Dear Brilliant:
Adore every single suggestion, except the first two! You need to flop that one, baby: Liam and Zac need to be dating each other, as do Miley and Vanessa. What a sizzling, summer scandal!

Dear Ted:
Can I ask what is the big deal with Channing Tatum? He is a terrible actor, he showed up out of nowhere, keeps getting all these big movies and now they are in talks to make a movie about him. I really don't get it. With his previous career as a stripper it makes me wonder if he is some boy-toy for a major up in Hollywood who is pulling strings to get him parts. What's your take on this?
—Steph

Dear Suspicious:
Sweetheart, there are tons of folks in T-town getting far more attention who don't have half Channing's acting talents. Blake Lively, maybe? But granted, most of them don't have movies written about them. Look, Channing's an interesting guy (first thought so in Step Up, and he was pretty compelling in Stop-Loss) who's got that rough, slightly sleazy, rebel-outsider thing going. He used to be a stripper, for heaven's sake! No wonder Steven Soderbergh is interested.

Dear Ted:
Two questions: You very nicely said a while ago that Britney Spears was making her way back to being a superstar. I would like to know if she really is healthy again and if it's better behind the scenes, because this woman who could out-dance pretty much anyone is making lackluster appearances (what's the deal with the cameos on the Billboard Awards while Beyoncé kicked it like Britney used to?) and barely giving interviews. Can she still dance? The second thing is LeAnn Rimes: Did Eddie Cibrian truly love her at one point? Does he still love her? What are and were his motivations?
—mamato2

Dear Too Many Questions!
Whew, make me sweat, why don't you? Look, Britney's still being financially, domestically and—worst of all—creatively coddled. What you're seeing, largely, is Britney not being allowed to fly on her own. Unfortunately, nobody (including, I dare say, Britney) really trusts her to do so. And as far as Eddie and LeAnn go, it's about fame, revenge and money. No, I don't believe anybody really loves anybody in this sad story.

Dear Ted:
The next time you're craving a cigarette, look at a recent picture of Mel Gibson. The man is 55 but has the skin and face of someone 20 years older. That's due, at least in large part, to his smoking!
BC

Dear Smoldering:
Funny, I thought it was more to do with being an absolutely hateful, intolerant prick of a soul. But I get your point, doll!

Dear Ted:
I was late to this Robsten business, but I thought the story was they got together back during New Moon. Well, lo and behold I'm watching some old MTV Movie Award clips getting ready for this year's, and one red carpet clip has Kristen Stewart stopping gossip about them romantically by calling him a "buddy" and Robert Pattinson looks put out. She looks at him and smiles, and he gives her enough cut eye to make her furrow her eyebrows in reaction. Um, that was back in 2008. Was there some monkey business going on between these two kids even earlier than New Moon?
—Lola

Dear An Affair to Remember:
Does Edward wear too much makeup? Does Bella pout more often than Jacob puts on serious face? From the beginning, sweets, from the beginning.