Kanye West


So True So False, STSF

Now this here's some French kissing. It incidentally also happens to be some mysterious kissing, because try as the world's media might (and my, how they've been trying) to ID the lady lucky enough to play tonsil hockey with Kanye West in full view of paparazzi, they have been unsuccessful.

Until now, it would seem.

The British tabloids today were patting themselves on the back after seemingly identifying Kanye's je nais se quoi-emiting Cannes girl as Kate Upton, an 18-year-old Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.

Zut alors! Is the bikini babe really Kanye's spit-swapping partner? She is, after all, just the latest in a long line of girls who've supposedly been ID'd as this mystery babe. Well, hang on to your passports, because this rumor is…

So false!

Sorry, British tabloids, we'a let you finish, but, well, you're wrong. But don't take our word for it (or the easily Googled photo comparisons that simply don't match up). Take Kate's.

"Such a great week in LA now back to new York…No Cannes for me," she tweeted yesterday. Though judging by her next tweet, her followers seemed to have glossed over the last half of that message.

Kate Upton

Jacob Andrzejczak/Getty Images for Sports Illustrated

"Hey I said I wasn't in Cannes come on that girl doesn't even look like me…I'm not with kanye," she wrote.

Hey, we believe you.

The same, incidentally, goes for Miss Universe hopeful and current Miss Albania Angela Martini, who was previously rumored to have been on the receiving end of Kanye's PDA. And once again, while a quick photo check would seem to disprove that, so too would her own denial.

"I find it funny that everyone is talking about me dating Kanye West when he is photographed on the balcony kissing some girl," she said. "What man in their right mind would be dating me and kissing some other girl?"

A question for the ages. But the mystery remains: Just who is that mystery balcony woman?

Well, while we're reticent to declare it outright, it certainly seems that the woman in question is French model/actress Virginie Maury. At the very least, she at least passes the photo test.

And that's more than we can say for any of the other ladies.

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