Lady Gaga Uncut: "I'm Really Delusional About My Success"

Mother Monster herself sits down with E! News for an exclusive, nearly 30-minute chat about all things Gaga—starting with her controversial "Judas" video!

By Gina Serpe May 08, 2011 12:00 AMTags

Controversial? Lady Gaga? Please!

In the wake of the release of her much-anticipated music video for "Judas," E! News sat down with the Mother Monster herself, and in addition to tackling pretty much every question you ever had about the nearly seven-minute opus, Gaga also waxed philosophical on her fans, her family, her fashions, her future, and, of course, her music in a nearly 30-minute exclusive interview.

So let's get right to it, shall we, monsters?

As for the song itself, "Judas" Gaga says it's "essentially about me going back to an ex-boyfriend and still being in love with someone that betrayed me, someone that was bad for me."

The religious references in the video simply came from that.

"I try to write from a really honest place when I write pop music, and then carry the message of the song into a more deep and more symbolic visual. That's really what the video is, the video is a metaphor for forgiveness, and for betrayal and darkness being one of the challenges in life as opposed to being a mistake.

"The name Judas is something that bears such an intense connotation. I often feel misunderstood, and I think my fans do. I think [the video] liberates the word in a lot of ways…takes it out of the negative and into the positive."

As for the video itself, which marks Gaga's directorial debut with "sister" Laurieann Gibson, the pop star said it "came out even more incredible than I ever thought it would…it's so beautiful, it's like a fresco come to life."

And as for the final imagery in her video, well, she figured she may as well beat her critics to the punch: "I figured if I'm gonna get stoned for making this video, I'll stone myself first."

Time will tell if we can expect similar works of art from all her videos, but Gaga did discuss the meaning behind some of Born This Way's sure to be most talked-about tracks.

Like "Black Jesus-Amen Fashion." Gaga described the song as being "a representation of an entirely new way of living" based on her eye-opening experiences living in New York. "It's all about saying a new way of thinking is as easy as putting on an outfit."

Well, if anyone's qualified to make that comparison, surely it's Gaga.

During the lengthy and exclusive interview, the singer also discussed her career, which she still feels is in its infancy.

"In a lot of ways I'm really delusional about my success, and sometimes I feel like an underdog in so many ways," she said. "My biggest fear is that I'll die before I get all my ideas out. I have nightmares about it. I have recurring nightmares where I'm late, I'm late to turn something in."

The fear may explain why she tries her best to stay in the moment and not look too far into the future. But that didn't stop us from inquiring as to where she saw herself in 10 years' time.

"Maybe with a f--king rock on my finger and a baby. I don't know. With a few more albums under my belt…I don't so much think about 10 years from now as I do about 10 minutes from now."

"I could never explain to you the amazing life-changing experience that has been the last three years of my life. I was in New York City singing in bars, busting my ass and nobody believed in me. And all of a sudden I have to catch a plane to sing for 60,000 people in Guadalajara. I can't even conceive of it."

And if it's hard for her to believe, just imagine what a difficult concept it is for her family…though one member seems to remain unimpressed.

"My parents are pretty immune at this point to my performance art statements. My grandmother did call my father—because she's blind…'Was [Gaga] wearing meat at the MTV Awards?' I said, 'Explain to grandma that it was a statement about equality.'

"She said that that was enough to her. It's sacrilege to an Italian grandmother to wear prime rib…she doesn't understand jerky. I'm like, it was cured!"

So what's next for Gaga? Well, American Idol, for starters.

"I really didn't want to judge, I was very against judging because I remember what it's like to be young and up-and-coming and, like, no one's fighting for you. I felt like I could just be their friend."

And if she was a contestant today?

"I think I probably would've never made it past the front door. I think a lot of people judge things before they look closely. I've always been one of those performers. I believe I was put on this earth to cause a ruckus. I don't mind if people have to lean forward to understand."

Fun fact: Gaga is also dying to appear on Glee. Make it happen!

So, given all this talk about acceptance, you'd think there would be nothing her Ladyship can't tolerate. But you'd be wrong: whatever you do, don't call her an icon.

"I believe it takes a lot of time. The definition of iconography is repetition of imagery, I haven't been around long enough yet. Give me at least 10 more years."