Bitch-Back! Wait, Why Not Jennifer Hudson as Fiery Cleopatra?

Readers want the latest gossip on celeb hookups, movie roles, and the Blind Vices

By Ted Casablanca Apr 11, 2011 12:16 PMTags
Jennifer HudsonJason Merritt/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Wild thought: why not Jennifer Hudson for the Cleopatra movie? I have a feeling she's got more acting chops than they're allowing her, she's closer ethnically (Cleo was not Nordic looking, I'm betting) and Jennifer is beautiful enough to be made even moreso.
—weaver0322

Dear What If:
I don't hate it. In fact, I kinda dig it. It would actually be refreshing to see her try something different, and with that new, skinny-minny figure of hers, she has the build for the part. Hudson's movie résumé has pretty much been stuck in neutral since Dream Girls, and maybe Cleopatra could be the role of all roles for her to splash back with. Too bad there's no singing involved. She's spectacular! We just hope if she is considered that the weight loss doesn't correlate with loss in acting talent as well. Watch your skinny back, Angelina Jolie!

Dear Ted:
Is Cookie Muncher Brooklyn Decker? Other great guesses have been all models and her husband isn't an actor but an athlete.
—cantsleep

Dear Take a Nap:
No. You really think Andy Roddick would be all about his hot wife going down on another woman? He comes off controlling, I think. Also, for future reference, other guesses are not always right.

Dear Ted:
Eric Bana is a hunk. Gorgeous, unbelievable body and he is a decent actor. So why is he not a huge star? The movies he is in are pretty mediocre (if not outright lame), except for the Steven Spielberg one he did a few years back. What gives here?
—Lizzielou

Dear Hot, Humble Stuff:
Seriously, he is so exotically hot we can't get over him. We think he needs new management stat because with a bod and face like that he could give most of Hollywood's A-listers a severe run for their smart, hunky roles. Plus, Eric's so down-to-earth and the fact that he's an Aussie and a Croatian only helps his case all the more with us!

Dear Ted:
Is Jamie Foxx Toothy Tile?
—christineh511

Dear Laughable:
It's guesses like this that make me love my job. Hell, no, and not by a looong shot.

Dear Ted:
I think I have a pretty good guess for Cookie Muncher. Is it Claudia Schiffer?
—L.B.

Dear Keep Munching:
No, and she's not as obvious as she seems.

Dear Ted:
Kinky Celeb Duo = A-Rod and Cameron Diaz? My rescue kitties Beastie Boy and Queen Pink are curious to know!
—Deedee

Dear Kinky, Not Stinky:
I don't know about this guess, hon. I feel like the kinky couple are way more secretive about their raunchy affairs. A-Rod and Cam are consistently canoodling for the cameras. I think the couple may be a little more old-school and seasoned than this fresh, athletic pair.

Dear Ted:
Are Ashley Greene and Jared Followill actually going to get together? You always seem to know everything.
—rocyabody

Dear Sometimes:
I mean, thanks for the love, but not even I can keep up with Ashley's ploys lately. She is definitely flirting with the rocker, and has been spotted with him here and there, but they could be just friends. Plus, if she was so madly in love with Joe Jonas, how could a gal move on that quick. It's all PR game, come on. Classic, Ash!

Dear Ted:
Would you say that Cookie Muncher's husband is an MVP in his career? Hope you and the kids are enjoying the nice spring weather!
—Nic

Dear Sweetness:
OK, Cookie's hubby is not an athlete. He's much sweeter and under the radar.

Dear Ted:
There's been a lot of talk about casting The Hunger Games, but I've yet to read any suggestions for Finnick. He has to be absolutely gorgeous and sexy...and have copper hair. Who would be a good choice?
—P

Dear Ginger-Fever:
We probably haven't heard anything because Finnick will be really hard to cast with that combination of cooper hair and hotness. Prince Harry is hands down the only red-head we can dub über-sexy. But I'll think on this one, for sure.

Dear Ted:
Robsten are in a crisis. Reese Witherspoon flirts nonstop with Rob. She doesn't acknowledge Kristen is his GF, much less respect her. Rob is a weak "flimsy floozie" and just responds to her. Feeling bad for Kristen. Why does this happen?
—zebra888

Dear Issues:
Only you have issues. Robsten are in no sort of crisis, and happily wedded Reese definitely would have nothing to do with it even if they were having issues. You need to reevaluate and validate your Robsten stalking, hon!

Dear Ted:
I think I cracked it! Is Cookie Muncher Mel B?
—Ailish

Dear Different:
Nope, but one of the better, entertaining and reasonable guesses in the bunch. Think more rarefied, less roaring.

Dear Ted:
Why was Jennifer Garner not at Reese's wedding? I thought they were BFF. Plus, where are all the happy pics of Jen and Ben Affleck? Please say he is almost done.
—Lacy and S

Dear Wishful Thinking:
Not sure why she didn't make it. Probably bossing around the family per standard. Garner must have just lost track of time. We're in the same boat with you when it comes to then end of Bennifer round two. Never actually liked them together; he could do better, and nicer.

Dear Ted:
Has Ryan Gosling ever been a Blind Vice? That "fire burning down below" comment has to mean something!
—Happy to be the extinguisher

Dear Dirty for Ryan:
Nope, no Vice there. Sure, he's still burning regardless though!

Dear Ted:
What's the deal with Courteney Cox and Josh Hopkins? Didn't he treat her BFF Jen Aniston badly? Should I give up hope for a reunion with her and David
—Hopeless?

Dear Yuck:
Why would you ever want her to reunite with David? I know he acts like he is trying to clean up, but it's so fake and everybody knows it. As for Hopkins, we don't think Court would move to fast with her costar for Coco's sake. The three of them were spotted beachside, but for now let's leave them as friends. The babe was heartbroken post-David. Doubt she'd jump the man gun just yet.

Dear Ted:
I have to ask, is Taylor Lautner really as innocent as he seems?
—Caroline

Dear Twi Wondering:
No, he's a dirty boy and all the innocent girlfriends in the world won't be able to hide his Vices forever and ever. Hate to break it!

Dear Ted:
Were Percy DuBois and Sally Pearlsmyth married? And was Percy ever with a singer before he got together with Sally?
—h

Dear Divorced or Separated:
Nope, but they were basically on their way. And who cares, he was a nobody before he started dating her.

Dear Ted:
Is Coco Crack-Head Bijou Phillips?
—mookindahouse

Dear Thisclose:
Nope, but such a buh-rilliant guess!

Dear Ted:
As far as acting chops go, this might be a little out of her league, but don't you think Brooke Shields would look amazing as Elizabeth Taylor?
—Anna

Dear Dissing the Dead:
Now, this is definitely one of those times where Taylor's quote "No one is going to play Elizabeth Taylor, except Elizabeth Taylor" would be more than justified. No way in hell am I for this option, sorry!