If Donald Trump defines "apprentice" as a self-styled, pontificating wing nut with the manic energy of an irritated chimpanzee and the teeth of a quarter horse, then he should just stop the hunt and give Gary Busey his own cage down by the mailroom. But then we wouldn't have future episodes of Gary dropping nuggets of self-help wisdom. So keep it up, Don. We need the material.

Come back for your full helping of Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT! But no need to wait until then for more laughs ... just keep readin'!

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