GSI MediaUp until now, it hasn't really posed too much of a problem for the ticket-snatching public that no one seemed to know, exactly, what they could expect from Charlie Sheen's rapidly selling-out My Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option tour.
But today's the day that question mark gets removed, as E! News sat down with one of the architects of the tour, who revealed exclusive details on what fans of both Sheen and schadenfreude can expect when Hurricane Charlie touches down in their city.
Ready for this?
"Charlie has definite ideas on what the show is going to be and it comes down to the fact that he is an entertainer, so it will be entertaining," tour coproducer Joey Scoleri told E! News.
"First and foremost he's an actor and a performer and the funniest guy in America right now, so the show he is working on right now will be largely spoken word, but having heard some of the monologues he is working on right now, it goes from hysterically funny to dark to very thought provoking."
Monologues? Well, you can only hear so many late-night jokes at your expense without picking up a pointer or two on well-honed delivery, right?
"He is a truth seeker, that's his thing," Scoleri went on. "Right now he wants people to hear the truth and see the truth and I think that's why he has been as open as he has been about his life. He's not a liar, I actually consider him the most honest man in America. Now, you may not agree with what you see, but he is being honest."
We'll leave that up to his concert-goers to decide, but here's what else Scoleri told us fans can expect on the 21-date (and counting!) road show:
• It'll delight all of your senses: "There will be some multimedia, but largely just him and a microphone and he's going to talk, and having heard some of the stuff he is going to say, people are going to be pleasantly surprised. There will be some things that are shocking and provoking, but you're going to laugh."
"There will be some video presentation. There is so much content out there about Charlie Sheen that has been user-generated, fan-generated, media-generated. There is a ton of stuff that will help provide context for the show. We don't know exactly what it is yet, we're still working on it."
• He's not using any writers: "No, he is just doing it. It's all Charlie."
"I don't think it's a script, as much as he is going to riff like an artist…He will probably do most of it from memory, he's that talented."
• Expect a different show every night: "No show will be exactly the same, you can't with a guy like him. He will have a guide that he puts together, but it's not going to be exactly the same because the audience in every city is going to be different, the energy is going to be different, and he's going to feed off that."
• You'll get your money's worth: Scoleri estimates that the show will run about an hour and 10 minutes, though there's no specific timeline locked in. (Charlie will get his money's worth, too. More on that below)
• You, too, can be a warlock: "There will be some audience participation, some audience members will get to ask questions, it's going to be pretty fun and it will be formatted to a degree, but a lot of room for improvising."
So there will be fun. There will be format. There will obviously be Adonis DNA present. But what about the goddesses?
Well, count them in, too.
While Scoleri, who has previously worked on tours for Jay-Z, Miley Cyrus, the Rolling Stones and the Jonas Brothers, said that while it's uncertain whether they will come on stage and actually be a part of the show, "they will definitely be there."
"He is obviously with them and cares for them a lot. They are part of his crew, part of his team and he is with them all the time."
As for Sheen, Scoleri said that despite how it may appear, the actor has maintained his professionalism—and sanity—throughout the planning stages.
"So far in putting the show together, he has been incredibly reliable, if he is one second late for a meeting, he apologizes. He is very conscious of other people's time."
As for questions of his mental state, Scoleri denies that his headliner is a few vials short of his full tiger blood potential.
"Lost his mind? I don't think so. I think he is just dealing with…there is a lot of pressure, I imagine…Bottom line is the guy is very intelligent. He's been through a lot, obviously. He is very charismatic."
Not to mention quotable.
"His quotes are like Muhammad Ali in his prime," Scoleri said.
Now on to the important stuff—how much money is the formerly highest paid sitcom star on TV going to bring in from this tour?
While Scoleri is keeping mum on exact figures, he predicts that Charlie could easily make "several hundred thousand" per show.
"I can't discuss what he's going to make, you can do the math on how many tickets are available. He can make a bunch of money, as much as he wants to make as long as the shows keep selling.
"The key is Charlie has more shows going on sale this weekend. He can make a decent amount of money but it's nowhere near what he made on Two and a Half Men."
Not now, anyway, but at the rate Team Sheen is adding more cities to his tour, he may hit that number yet.
With tickets for his newly announced shows—available, as always, on CharlieSheen.com—in Toronto, Washington, D.C., Tampa, Fort Lauderdale, San Francisco and Seattle going on sale this weekend, Scoleri predicts that demand hasn't yet waned.
"The interest level is insanely high. I think as long as you're prepared to go on a wild ride of highs and lows and dark and light and laughter and being surprised, I don't think you are going to be disappointed."
Hear that, kids? Now that's a man who knows how to sell tickets. Not that they exactly needed any extra push.
Oh, and as for that crazy Jonas Brothers connection…yeah, blame them for that ill-advised machete photo op.
As we already explained, Charlie was taking a rooftop break from a meeting at the Live Nation offices, when he was handed the machete by one of the execs and chose to wave it at the paparazzi.
Well, guess who gave that sword to the exec in the first place? Yup. Turns out, they thought it would be a fun gift for the tour producer. Well sheesh. First, the Ashley Greene mess, now this—sounds like someone needs a tiger blood injection, ASAP.
—Reporting by Aly Weisman