Justin Timberlake

AP Photo/Matt Sayles

Dear Ted:
I know it was supposed to be a husband waiting to ditch his wife until after the Oscars, but it couldn't have been Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel they were talking about, could it? She was such a ball and chain she was practically a wife.

Dear Wifey or Clinger GF:
Same thing, right? Well, no. This married dude who had everyone blindly wondering if he would show his face and ditch his wife post-Oscars never showed. Or at least we don't think. Your guess is as good as mine, but as much of a ball-and-chain as Jess was, I don't think they qualify. Still, Justin choosing to take his mom as his Oscar date should have been a red flag. Plus, Justin and Jess not feeling it, or each other, at the afterparties was too obvious. This Blind couple is being discrete, and they are still out there. Probably promoting one of their big movies still.

Dear Ted:
Really, Ted? You just had to throw in the comment about 30 being a death sentence for women in the dating scene? While you're at it, why don't you suggest I stock up on Oil of Olay products before my 30th B-day hits in a few months?!

Dear 30 and Touchy:
Jeez, why are all you thirtysomethings throwing a hissy fit over a bit of sarcasm? I'm obviously kidding, people. I totally hate how everyone is labeling 30 the eternally single age group. Please, look at Kim Kardashian. She had more BFs once she turned 30 than some have in a lifetime. Embrace it.

Dear Ted:
I know everyone is making it seem like Blake Lively will be the big star out of G.G. and it looks that way...so far. I do prefer Leighton Meester, though. Do you think she has a good chance of making it beyond G.G.? So far it doesn't look too good

Dear You Win Some...
And then there's The Roommate. You're right. Leighton effed up for signing up to do that lame college take on single-white-femaling someone, especially after she had such a promising performance in Country Strong. But Blake has not proven her star and acting skills sufficiently. All she's got on Meester is some designer duds. Let's call it a draw for now.

Dear Ted:
What's up with Julia Roberts? How has she stayed married to the same man for so long? She used to fly through boyfriends/fiancés! Is there any truth to the rumor about her and Javier Bardem?

Dear Not Everyone's Pretty Woman:
You can't be seriously debating a real-life relationship between Julia and Javier post Eat Pray Love? That was mere good acting, hon. Javier is happily married to Penélope Cruz and a new papa to a baby son. Julia and her cameraman hubs, Daniel Moder, are in the same (supposedly) happily married boat—with each other. Funny how some H'wood couples can semi-make it work, no?

Dear Ted:
Regarding Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin, your comment about sudden stardom being the breaking point for different relationships, is this kind of what happened with Kristen Stewart and Michael Angarano?

Dear Out With the Old:
Dead on. Such an excellent example! It happens: People break up, they move on to hotter people and create a superhumanly hot duo. We can only hope Justin and Mila will take note from Robert Pattinson and K.Stew, that is, if the two ever do become an item post flirtship. Here's to Kimberlake!

Dear Ted:
Can you please tell me if actor Gerard Butler is dating anyone. Does he like brunettes, blondes or redheads?

Dear Throwback Stud:
Remember Gerard? If the women he acts with are an indication, my guess is blondes. There were rumors way back when that he was dating hottie Jennifer Aniston. If that's the case, then he must be pretty picky with his hair color since her hair stylist mixes like 20 colors to get that beautiful, infamous tint. Too bad we doubt he's into bobs, huh, Butler? Must have been why it never worked out.

Dear Ted:
Please, please, please don't lump The Hunger Games in with Twilight. The only thing in common is that they are young-adult book series. I understand there is a large THG fanbase (not as rabid), but any comparison or mention of Twilight has people worried (guys especially). Can't we just let it stand on its own at least until after it is released? I appreciate news based solely on THG, but that whole Katniss vs. Bella was just ridiculous. Sorry.

Dear Bitter Biter:
I think you're asking for a bit much, doll. The comparison is inevitable. They are both excellent adventure series with intriguing leading female characters. It's bound to happen. So, face the sci-fi reality of it! 

Dear Ted:
I'm a huge Ashley Greene fan and was a bit worried when she started dating Joe Jonas, but then they seemed to be getting on really well, so I let them grown on me. Now I noticed they haven't been seen together since her birthday week off. They're both in NYC right now, and with no sighting or word of them being out together, I'm assuming the worst. Maybe they're just lying low or busy working. Or have they gone separate ways?

Dear Calm Down:
Quite the contrary of what you are worrying about, actually. Ashley is obsessed with her BF, and that feeling seems to be pretty mutual. But, she's a busy woman. What with filming Breaking Dawn and all! As much as I'm so sure she would rather be spending time with Joe, she's got to work in some set time as well. So, just relax. Ash is happy for now.

Dear Ted:
I love the Blind Vices, and I have some pretty good guesses, but there is one that I can't quite figure out. There is a very popular guess out there for Toothy Tile, and I kind of believe it, except I'm not sure how Baby Tile comes into the picture. Is it really possible for a celeb to keep their child a secret? He can't be a very active father. Does the kid live with the birth mother or maybe with some relative of his? I'm totally confused.

Dear Doubt Before You Think:
Exactly why I don't get the popular guess. Does no one realize there is a baby involved and that Toothy is not doing a good job letting us all in on how the babe's doing these days? Either way, we're told someone is raising that little nugget in the proper non-vicey environment.

Dear Ted:
Did Strippa Rip-Ya ever work as a stripper?

Dear Work It:
Not that we know of. But she's definitely owned a pole or two.

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong Kevin Connolly?

Dear Jokes:
That shrimp? No way. He's still kind of cute, though.

Dear Ted:
What's the deal with Jay-Z? When people ask about him and Beyoncé, folks always say they are solid, but he seems so cold to her. She clearly loves him and is in love with him, but he just seems to enjoy the Forbes list and fame that comes with being in a high-profile relationship. I hate his body language toward her and just wonder if he cares about her at all?
—Curious Tarheel

Dear Body Language Translator:
Don't jump to conclusions just because J isn't the eye-gazing, touchy-feely dude some rappers force themselves to be. Those two are one power couple if I have ever seen one, and they don't need to flaunt it to prove it. Just wish B would get preggers already. That baby of theirs is bound to be once fierce combo of the two totally crazy in love moguls.

Dear Ted:
What do you think of Jennifer Lopez? I always thought she was a diva, but she is very sweet and likable on American Idol. Good actress or is she as nice as she seems?

Dear Judging the Judge:
I feel your change of heart on this beauty. I don't think she's faking it at all. Maybe J.Lo's just a nice person, after all. There's this preconceived notion that every hot woman in the music industry is a bossy diva. Let's hope she's breaking the trend and stereotype. Turning a new leaf, as it were.

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong Brad Pitt?

Dear Schlonging for More:
In Angelina Jolie's dreams.

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