Martin Sheen, Charlie Sheen

Jordan Strauss/

Dear Ted:
Have Martin Sheen or Emilio Estevez said anything publicly about what is going on with Charlie?

Dear Family First:
Martin has said that he considers his son's addiction to be analogous to cancer. And, that in itself is enough. The dad claims the whole family is trying to help the stay at home rehabber, but nothing is working. Shocking. As for Emilio, Charlie's brother, he says he's built up immunity to this cancer-like Charlie. The Sheens are giving up hope? Let's pray to tiger blood it's not true, because if so Charlie's screwed and flying solo, most definitely. Goddesses can only do so much.

Dear Ted:
I know Mila Kunis is a little old for the role of Katniss in Hunger Games, but think she'd be great. She looks the part, definitely has the acting chops and has proved that she can do dark and edgy. Do you think she could be considered for the role?

Dear Dream Casting:
I wish. That would make about everyone not even semi-interested in The Hunger Games take a turn for the obsessed. It really is too bad the babe's a bit old for the part. Still, I feel like Mila could own it, she's got a youthful edge. If not, I swear Hailee Steinfeld looks like she could be Kunis' little sis, no? Let's hope Hailee gets it since Mila can't.

Dear Ted:
I'm a big Backstreet Boys fan and I know they will be doing a tour with the New Kids on the Block. Do you know anything about it? Do you think they will come back to the top now? Thanks so much!

Dear Old School Jams:
Can't say I know too much, but everyone knows that reunion tours never end in repeat stardom. It's more for show, and to get old fans reminiscing on the good times. Enjoy the quickie reunion while you can, doll!

Dear Ted:
What makes Caesar Anchovy-Arse such an angry person? Does he perhaps have other substance abuse issues in addition to drinking?

Dear Arsy Addiction:
It's believable, but don't know if you can count it as fact. He has definitely been linked to some substance instances in the past, regardless. Think he's just a born creep, it happens.

Dear Ted:
I just saw the press release that Lady Gaga has ended her relationship with Target for failing to uphold their end of the deal to align with LGBT charity groups. Love to workout to Lady Gaga, find her outfits annoying, but am so pleased to see her using her star appeal to really stand-up for causes you don't see many stars towing the line for! Kudos to Gaga for having the balls I bet a lot of stars wish they had!

Dear Goo-Goo for Gaga:
Yes, Gaga is doing great things and speaking out, but I have to say I've never been one for the whole goo-goo over her crap. Totally support what she believes in and what she does, but at times I just she would tone it all down like a few notches. Her situation with Target showed how dedicated she is to the LGBT community, but all her hype makes me shake my head sometimes. We can love her, but worship her to death? That's a bit much.

Dear Ted:
Could King Schlong be Bradley Cooper?

Dear Searching for Schlong:
Schlong is obviously too much for everyone to handle since all these guesses are so wrong it burns his well-proportioned business. He's bigger than Brad.

Dear Ted:
The Kardashian sisters have been famous now for awhile. Have any of them entered Blind Vice territory yet?

Dear Sisters with Misters:
Please, everyone knows how Vicey they are. How do you think they combined made $65 million last year? Love them, and every last piece of dirt, and yummy men, they share with us on a regular basis. Too bad they're all settling down—less sexy time to go around.

Dear Ted:
You said Ryan Gosling is up there with the Blind Vice he seems like such a mellow guy what did he do?

Dear Mellow Fellow:
Indeed, there is nothing filthy about this delicious stud. And, if there was we would be pretty bummed. He's too perfect for words, or Vices. 

Dear Ted:
I just saw Country Strong and whilst I wasn't impressed by Gwyneth I was blown away by the chemistry between Leighton Meester and Garrett Hedlund. I know there were rumors about them hooking up, but where are they now? They would be hot together!
—Give into me

Dear Give in Already:
You know, everyone's been obsessing over these two post-Country Strong, and unfortunately I'm hearing Garrett is single. Too bad. It would only do both their careers wonders, and we could have another hot, young couple to look at.

Dear Ted:
Regarding J.Lo's recent breakdown on American Idol, it struck me as being so out of character for her. I'll just say that she's never seemed to me to be someone who is overly concerned about others. So I'm wondering, was there more to that breakdown than meets the eye?

Dear Suspicious:
Jennifer is an emosh woman, but my money is on that there is something else going down that is making her sensitivity all the more heightened right now. No woman has tear ducts that active for complete strangers. But, I must say she is looking hotter by the episode. She's fierce in the looks department, per usual.

Dear Ted:
Does Strippa Rip-Ya's mom by any chance live with her and that abusive arse?

Dear Digging:
Believe she's a regular at that crib, if that's any help. Strippa can't handle everything on top of an arse of a hubby.

Dear Ted:
I really hope the rumors about Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn aren't true! I mean the age gap is crazy even for Hollywood standards. Why do you think Scarlett goes for older men? I mean she could get any guy she wanted, she's stunning!

Dear Not Cougar-ing Around:
Women who date notorious older men are not looking to just hook up. It's an emotional press release on so many fronts. Obviously, Reynolds wasn't dramatic enough for her. An Oscar winning, twice-divorced human rights activist should do it though, right?

Dear Ted:
You know who I'm fascinated by? Kelly Preston! I've always loved her but my god; she was shot by Charlie Sheen! She lived with Clooney and has put up with Travolta; I think her story needs to be told. Any thoughts? Love ya Ted!

Dear Kelly Attracts the Kooks:
Her story has been told time and time again, you think it would be über interesting but not the level of juice you expect. She must be holding out some serious info. Until then, I'm waiting on something brutal on the crazy hordes of ex-loves she's collecting up.

Dear Ted:
I recently read about Toothy Tile and was wondering how he's been lately and have he and Crotch-Uh-Lastic ever hooked-up before, or any attraction between them?

Dear Brilliant, But:
Slightly less scared, don't believe so, yes, definitely.

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share