Trump Roast: Donald Talks Presidency, The Situation Bombs, Greg Giraldo Remembered

Mogul gets torn apart by comics at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York, donates all the money to charity

By Marianne Garvey Mar 10, 2011 3:55 PMTags
Donald Trump, Jeffrey RossDimitrios Kambouris/WireImage

The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump ran into a little, uh, situation, last night.

Inexplicably, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino was on stage along with seasoned comics Lisa Lampinelli and Whitney Cummings, chatmeister Larry King, the always-entertaining Snoop Dogg and roastmasters Jeff Ross and Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane. And when it came the reality star's turn to The Donald, things took an ugly turn.

How bad was it?

The Jersey Shore star's timing was so off and his jokes so terrible, Ross had to get up to the podium to win back the crowd. Sorrentino, wearing sunglasses throughout his routine, seemed oblivious to the boos and groans, because when he sat down he actually asked the dais, "I did good, right?"

"He should try real estate," MacFarlane cracked to E! News about The Sitch's poor performance.

"That wasn't a situation, that was a trainwreck," Lampinelli told us.

Minus the Shore star's bad comic turn everyone else killed, including King, Marlee Matlin and newcomer Anthony Jeselnik. Gilbert Gottfried made a surprise appearance, Trump talked his run for presidency and Greg Giraldo was remembered in a loving tribute.

MacFarlane tore into Trump, playing a video of the mogul's hair flopping in the wind set to Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair."

"You're a grown man, you have hair like Dennis the Menace. Did you fall head first into a cotton candy machine?" MacFarlane asked Trump.  "Trump says he's going to run for president in 2012, but if his plan for America is to fire everyone, he's about two years too late."

Lampinelli was the first comic up, saying she had to speak slower for the "handicapped" person on stage. Matlin at first assumed it was her, but at the last moment Lampinelli turned to The Situation and began signing. Then she turned on King.

"Don't worry, Larry, it's almost over. I'm not talking about the roast," she cracked.

A moment was taken to remember roast legend Giraldo. A huge picture of him at the roasters' podium was shown over the stage. "I thought of him tonight," Ross told us at the show.

Jeselnik got big laughs when he commented on Giraldo, quipping, "It's been a rough year for comedy. Not only did the world lose Greg Giraldo, even worse, it kept Jeff Ross."

Matlin, per Ross, "had the set of the night." She nailed every joke, at one point ripping into Ross—who was dressed in blue suede shoes, a roastmaster general jacket and was sporting a "Trumpadour" 'do—comparing him unfavorably to a bed bug.

"We can't get rid of you and people scream when they're in bed with you," she cracked through her interpreter, who ran off stage and was replaced by Gottfried, who began fake-signing on the spot.

When we told Matlin she was a hit, she responded,"That's my job as a deaf lady.

"I had a lot of fun, especially when Gilbert came out to translate."

Gottfried told us he loved his surprise visit, saying he had a great time on stage alongside Matlin.

"The sick stuff she was making me say I was really ashamed of but she's a pervert," he said.

Also present backstage taking in the fun was Mad Men's Jon Hamm, who turns out to be a huge stand-up fan.

As for the man of the hour, Trump took it well—even though he wasn't looking forward to it.

"I will sit up there and they will ridicule every part of my body, especially my hair, but by doing it I'm giving a tremendous amount of money to charity, AIDS research and different charities," he told us before the show kicked off.

"I didn't make sense to sit at home so I'm doing it for charity. I don't want to do it," he told us. "I'm not looking forward to this at all."

As for his potential presidential run, he says he'll decide by early summer and has already been working on a slogan.

"I'm looking at that very seriously. The country is doing horribly, we're doing very badly. We're the whipping post for so many other countries, whether that's OPEC countries or China. I'll make a decision by June," he said. "There's one little phrase that could work very well [for a slogan]."

Tune in to see the roast on Comedy Central next Tuesday. Trust us, it's good stuff.