It may be a new week, but it's the same old Sheenanigans.
In any case, Charlie Sheen's adoring—and, we hope you're proud of yourselves, unstoppably growing—public will be pleased to know that Mark Cuban is the latest media figure to step up and offer the actor what he is most in need of right now:
professional medical help more airtime.
Cuban has enlisted the Two and a Half Men star turned Vatican assassin warlock to assist with programming on the Cuban-owned HDNet. And by assist with programming, he means be the programming.
On the heels of the not so well-received Sheen's Korner, cameras have apparently already started rolling (just try and stop them!) but on what, exactly, remains to be seen: whether Chuckles is working on a reality show, a talk show, an hour dedicated to the wonders of tiger blood, or something else entirely is unclear.
"We're trying to decide," Cuban told ESPN. "Right now, we're taping a lot of different things that he's doing"—who isn't?—"and we'll try to figure it out. It's still not 100 percent certain."
But it will be 100 percent winning.
"You've got somebody that everybody has a whole lot of interest in who's doing some interesting things, to say the least, and we always look for interesting programming by featuring interesting people doing interesting things," Cuban, a possible graduate of the Sheen School of Soundbites, said.
"We'll do something together, but it's not certain it will be a show. It'll come down to what he wants to do and what his situation is. We'll just figure it out from there, but it's a unique opportunity, I'll say that."
In so many ways. Sheen himself has already hinted at the partnership in tweets, but has devoted most of his 140-character missives to a much more important topic. Namely, his own greatness.
"fastball; #DogSpeed all," he addressed his followers last night/early this morning. "another record shattered. we gobbled the soft target that was 2.0 mil, like a bad of troll-house zombie chow."
Translation: after entering the Guinness Book of World Records for amassing 1 million Twitter followers in the shortest amount of time, Sheen's minions now top the 2 million mark.
"hey Guinness, might wanna start writing them in pencil. #checkit; you've been warned. C"