Michael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan

Suffolk County Police Dept.; AP Photo/Nick Ut

OK, let's get up to speed: this week, out of the blue, the producers of the Late Show With David Letterman got a call from a person they have since mysteriously referred to as "someone purporting to be a friend" of Lindsay Lohan's, gauging interest in her possibly appearing on the show this week.

Letterman's team naturally jumped at the chance, and sent out a press release touting the get. Then, Lindsay tweeted that she was sorry for the confusion, but swears she never had any intention of appearing on the show. The red-faced Late Show was forced to fire off another release, calling the whole thing "a mistake."

So…any guesses as to who's behind this double duping screw-up? Who might dare align themselves with LiLo yet possess absolutely no authorization to speak on her behalf? Well, you can save your guesses, because the guilty, spotlight-seeking party has already stepped forward. And yes, the world can once roll its collective eyes at Michael Lohan.

In record speed, Michael outed himself as the man with the completely unsanctioned plan this morning, telling TMZ that he only went to Letterman's team with the idea of Lindsay delivering a Top 10 list after first running it by his daughter.

And that, it seems, is the story he's sticking with.

Michael said he masterminded the whole thing (a detail that might be wise to keep under his hat from now on) after he heard Dave crack wise on Lindsay's latest exploits during a show last week.

He claims that he went to his daughter with the idea and that she gave him the green light to approach Letterman with the pitch to deliver the Top Ten list tomorrow night. Apparently, the deal was so done that they had even discussed transportation options to and from the satellite location from which she would film her spot.

It was only once Lindsay's reps found out about the TV gig that the plan began to unravel. Or so says Michael. Hence Lindsay's tweet of disavowal last night (in contrast to which, Michael said she "knew full well" about the plan) and the Late Show's retraction this morning.

And while we can only imagine what Letterman himself will say about these shenanigans tonight (go get 'em, Dave!), Michael is pretty fuming mad himself.

"Anything positive that I bring into her life…[her people] try to nix it," he told TMZ.

There is, of course, one very easy fix: just stay out of her life in the first place.

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