Two and a Half Men Boss Implies That Charlie Sheen Is on a Death Run

Lorre jokes about the situation in two vanity cards posted last night after two of his half-hour CBS comedies

By Jennifer Arrow Feb 15, 2011 5:36 PMTags
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The executive producer and cocreator of Two and a Half Men, Chuck Lorre, is speaking out again about his wayward star, Charlie Sheen, via the unique medium of the vanity card.  

Following last night's airings of two Chuck Lorre-produced shows (Men and Mike & Molly), vanity cards penned by Lorre appeared onscreen, the first of which explicitly addressed the Charlie Sheen chaos vortex , and the second of which seemed to refer to Sheen's troubles without mentioning him by name.

However, there was no castigating, no chastizing and no shaming in these statements, nor was there an intervention-style supplication begging the star to get help. Find out for yourself what Lorre said, and decide if you think Lorre might be deflecting the situation a bit:

MORE: Chuck Lorre has used vanity cards to address the Charlie Sheen situation in the past

Chuck Lorre Productions, #329 (Feb. 14, 2011)

I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x–rays, cardio stress tests, EKG's and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't have crazy, reckless sex with strangers. 

If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed.

Chuck Lorre Productions, #329 (Feb. 14, 2011)

He felt dead inside. 

No matter how hard he partied, he could never escape that simple fact - inside, dead. 

And that was his life. 

Running from a feeling. 

At least until he could run no more. 

Exhausted, spent and beaten, when the end finally came, he welcomed it. 

With life ebbing from his wasted body, he was suddenly swept up in a transcendent state of joy that was pure and complete. 

Moments later he felt dead inside.

What do you think? Lorre has a default vanity card that he posts when he doesn't have anything else to write about, which he credits with granting him "freedom from the obsessive and relentless need to end each vanity card on a joke." He certainly ended the above two Valentine's Day cards with a punchline, but does his reliance on humor seem too easy? Is there some other aspect of the situation you think he should speak out about? Or is he going as far as he dares without torpedoing his entire show and thus sending the hundred-plus employees of the series straight to the breadlines? What kind of message is appropriate for the somewhat passive-aggressive split-second medium of the vanity card? 

We'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

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