The Bachelor, BRAD WOMACK


Things are intense for Bachelor  Brad Womack. You can tell because his eyes are open even wider than they usually are when he talks in his "serious" voice. You know, the one in real life he reserves for important sentences like, "I asked for Bud Light Lime, dammit, not Bud Light Ice!" 

According to B-Wo, "today, by all accounts, has been nothing short of brutal!" Those accounts tell a tragic tale indeed. D-Day, 9/11, now this: It seems Brad is losing the women. You know because he says, "I'm losing the women!"

Apparently, juggling so many "great" ladies who "love" him is simply too much. See for yourself ...


"I know that the two women that do not recieve a rose on today's date are going to be completely upset. Completely angry. They may very well shut down. I mean shut down for good! I'm really lost right now."

Good Lord! You hold the power to turn two young, healthy women into gibbering, dead-eyed husks incapable of leading anything other than empty non-lives, institutionalized forever, spending their days in their padded cells, drool soaking through their straitjackets, finally pooling on the cold skin of their breasts above what were once hearts filled with love and hope. In the name of human decency, man, do not let these women shut down!

Or shuh-dan.

You were trying to say "shut down," right?

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