Justin Guarini, Spider-Man, Sanjaya Malakar

Fox/Ray Mickshaw; Broadway; Fox/Ray Mickshaw

Once upon a time, there was grandeur in the theatah. Then injury magnet Spider-Man came along and turned off the dark fun with the worst reviews ever.

Well, look out. These folks are also headed to tread tarnish the boards on the Great White Way:

Justin Guarini: American Idol's season-one runner-up is bringing his Fragglelicious charms to the Green Day musical, American Idiot. Um, we never quite viewed the From Justin to Kelly star as that much of a rocker. Have fun with that, Broadway.

Sanjaya Malakar: Everybody's favorite ponyhawk hawker is joining the cast of an Off-Broadway creation called Freckleface Strawberry. The family-friendly musical is about "tolerance and understanding and accepting people for who and what they are," per the show's press release. But will audiences tolerate and understand and accept Sanjaya's hit-or-miss vocal abilities?

So pull out your Playbill collection, dust off your opera glasses and give these guys a standing ovation of snark in our pity party poll!

Schadenfreude Poll! Feb. 10, 2011
You couldn't pay me to go see:
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