Kristen Stewart, Garrett Hedlund, Leighton Meester

George Pimentel/; John Sciulli/Getty Images; Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
You said that Garrett Hedlund "will (if he has not already) learn to love Kristen Stewart," yet you say everything is fine in Robsten land. Why create more drama buy using the word love? Love is after all a strong sentiment.

Dear So Serious:
Why do you all read so much into the littlest details? All we were saying was that Garrett would learn to love her as a friend since a few days ago there was bitchin' about her studly costar not speaking on Robsten. Would the word like ease your Twi-hearts? Trust us, we'd rather save Garrett for Leighton Meester—or better yet one of us! Put down the (badly written) romance novels, hon, they're getting to your head.

Dear Ted:
Is it me, or do Selena Gomez's recent internet attacks seem to coincide around the time the Justena rumor mill went into overdrive?

Dear Bye-Bye Beliebers:
Not surprised by the attacks, at all. Remember Jasmine Villegas? Beliebers went nuts when he was caught kissing this first Disney starlet. But when we heard about Justena, we most def thought it was too puppy-love dreamy to be true. We thought all his fans would be as happy for him as we are, but they cried and attacked, per usual. Must have been the snapshots of the smooching they did while on vacay together. Time to deal, girls, Biebs obviously has a type and is almost always sporting Mickey Mouse ears.

Dear Ted:
I've heard recently that Rob and Kristen's relationship is fake, and is just for PR. Please tell me this is not true! It also says Kristin is going back to Michael Angarano! Please tell me this is total B.S. I know a lot of people are wondering about this.

Dear Why So Worried:
Obviously, Robsten are still hot and going strong. I mean, I think we will know when the two call it quits. The world might just stop spinning for a few seconds. Angarano is so out of the picture, and if you Robsten fans keep worrying, or rather bitchin', about the dude, he may just pop up somewhere out of spite. Quit while you're ahead. You don't want bad karma for the loving couple, right?

Dear Ted:
So, Mauricio is OK, but, Paul Nassif is the real babe husband of Beverly Hills. Funny, cute, smart, oddly relatable. He makes every scene he's in better. C'mon, Ted, give him some love.

Dear Househubby:
We've got a special like place in our hearts for any man with an accent and body like Mauricio's—superficial, we know! Still, Adrienne Maloof's hubby, Paul, is too funny, and we love it. The only thing we're a tad worried about is that his wife may kick box his ass, break his nose and then he'd be responsible for his own plastic surgery. Ouch!

Dear Ted:
I just read the Vogue interview where K.Stew revealed she is making plans to open a halfway house to help young women. Are there any other twentysomething's in Hollywood who have shown the compassion this young woman has by starting their own charity?

Dear Charity-Loving Krisbian:
Gotta really think women like Alyssa Milano, who are busy trying to make a difference. K's really in an age-class by herself—the gal has a bit of philanthropy in her vamp blood, after all. Good to know she's not too smitten with Rob to save the world!

Dear Ted:
Why on earth did they remake Skins, a great, raw edgy show that gave a realistic representation of teenage life for a period in time, into nothing more than Americanized fluff? Why is the U.S. always remaking British shows? My cat MIA and dog Wookie simply need to know.

Dear Brit-ified:
Can't say I've seen the show yet, but I have heard some uproar about the scandalous, overdone remake. British fans have been saying Skins (the original) was fantastic, but the commercials for the American remake look über-sexual. Intriguing for sure, but the show looks like your typical American masterpiece—a PG-13 piece pushing for borderline R ratings. There's for sure a trend. First The Office, now Skins, what will we bite off from the Brits next? They're all just too good, I guess.

Dear Ted:
So the world had to hear about hound dog No. 2 Jesse James (Tiger Woods is No. 1) getting engaged to Kat Von D. May I be first to say good for them? The shock a year ago, discovering the trash Jesse kept behind his wife's back was so gigantic, it took us fans a while to understand why anyone would this to his wife, let alone Sandra Bullock. I know like any other couple, they most probably had their ups and downs, and she may be difficult to live with, but still, she is by far the best thing he ever had. Having said that, don't Jesse and Kat deserve each other? Trying to hold on to a semblance of five minutes of additional fame. Good for them! That is how it should be: Use each other clearly and without delusions of true love and loyalty. Am I too harsh? What are your thoughts on the happy couple?

Dear This Is Harsh:
Happy couple? People that tatted—it's hard to see the happy on them. Plus, they just make me want to barf. I highly doubt Sandy is difficult to live with. She's a doll and anyone with half a brain knows that, which totally explains Jesse's numerous slip-ups. I say good for her. She took the trash out, and I hope he and his future wifey have a marriage made in dumpster heaven.

Dear Ted:
Among all of the Blind Vices that were at the Golden Globes, was Nevis Divine among them? My rescue dog is very curious.

Dear Curious Pups:
Nevis never lets his fans down. Forget the Globes, it's a show whenever he comes around, believe me.

Dear Ted:
Is Jackie Bouffant single? And can he sing?

Dear Mingling or Not:
Debatable. While most of us wish he was, he likes to play the field hot and cold. Lucky for that frequent female of his! As for his vocals, they aren't to die for.

Dear Ted:
In your honest opinion, do you think Robsten are forever? Are Rob and Kristen going to head to the altar or is it just a phase these two are going through during the Twilight films? I feel they're not going to last after the two movies are filmed. What's your opinion on this?

Dear Extreme Twi-hard:
Didn't your mother ever teach you nothing is forever? Or are you just relying on Stephenie Meyer's version of true love? I think it wouldn't matter if they were together or not, those films would sell out, regardless. The two dig each other when the cameras are off, too. Wouldn't you like to see that offscreen romance? Too bad!

Dear Ted:
Is Seymour Plow-Me-More's wife keeping him on a short leash because she's paranoid that he'll do something that she's been trying to prevent?

Dear Blew It:
Uh, his wife's not who has him on a leash.

Dear Ted:
Does Nevis Divine knock back beers often?

Dear Buzzed Busy Bee:
It's definitely in his nature, but the dude knows how to cut himself off. He's not a frequent bar-hopper, especially, as of late. He's working those late hours and enjoying it for sure.  

MORE: Readers never quit bitchin'! See what other questions I have answered in the Bitch-Back section!

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