Bitch-Back! Who's the Craziest Gleek of Them All?

Readers suspicions about Naya Rivera stand correct

By Ted Casablanca Jan 13, 2011 1:00 PMTags
Naya RiveraGreg DeGuirre/FOX

Dear Ted:
If Naya Rivera doesn't have a BV already, she should—Bish is crazy! So, does she?
nikki

Dear Glee Gone Bad:
Oh, honey, you have no idea! Have heard horror stories about her on-set antics. Let's just say the reports of Naya egging semi ex-flame Mark Salling's car is only the tip of the crazy iceberg.

Dear Ted:
I am a big fan of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. We know what Rob is going to be up to with his new project but I was thinking wouldn't it be great if there was a remake of The Stepford Wives, that Kris would fit perfect for a role in that one.
Hockey mom

Dear Ballsy:
Oh honey, you've done it to yourself now! Considering K.Stew is anything but, maybe that is the perfect role to showcase those acting chops many of you doubt. But wouldn't it have to be The Stepford Girlfriends? I'll let the hate begin in 1, 2, 3...

Dear Ted:
After just reading that Katie Holmes is the new face of Anne Taylor, is there ever a fear that she will only be known by her paid endorsements and not her actual acting work? I'm confused that she seems unable to get a good acting gig when she is married to one of the most powerful men in Hollywood.
Anne

Dear What Acting Work?:
Darling, "Kate" seems to take (or pass on) roles her team and that powerful man encourage her to. The problem is not that she can't get a gig, trust. She is genuinely a very talented actor. Pieces of April is a Holmes standout, in particular. But, seriously, who in their right mind would pass on The Dark Knight?

Dear Ted:
Just curious as to why you named Oprah as the person who most disappointed you in 2010? My 13-year-old pound puppy and I heart you much!
Jen

Dear Puppy Love:
Because for a woman who's made her fortune telling it like it is, I just don't think she is.

Dear Ted:
I've never been a fan of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens together and was glad to hear they'd parted ways. Let's face it; they both need to act their age for awhile. My question is: Why did their reps even both confirm a split if the odds were one of them was just going to go crawling back less than a month later? Everything just seems a little too, erm, calculated to me...your thoughts?
L

Dear Suspicious:
We give reps too much crap not to applaud them when they do actually tell the truth. It would be fishier to me if one of them had a flick coming out. Think it's just two young kids trying to figure out if they're in love or lust or what.

Dear Ted;
Anyone new and exciting in Dashed Dingle Dream life now that hot mess Judas Jack Off is no longer in the picture? Is it possible that the arranged beard relationship has turned into a real love match for DDD?
Nosykitty

Dear Lovesessed:
I'd rather tackle "Is Taylor Lautner really stealing Kristen Stewart's heart," to tell you the truth. These two dudes are really beginning to bore me.

Dear Ted:
I just started reading your Vice section and I love it! So I was wondering who has the naughtier Vice, Rob or Kristen?
new twi-vice

Dear Perfect Match:
They are both completely equal. It's one reason why they have a special bond.

Dear Ted:
Please, please, please answer this question! Is Carey Mulligan Veronica Bee-Stings? Her chest seems....well....dare I say "fuller" lately. love you and your column! P.S. We Alaskans are not as stupid as Sarah Palin makes us seem! Just saying!
B in Alaska

Dear Pixie Perfect:
Very very glad to say Carey is not Ms. Stings! And to hear your latter information.

Dear Ted:
Does Kelsey Grammer have a Blind Vice?
Doc

Dear Vicer in Disguise:
Surely Camille Grammer's little drag slip yesterday didn't make you suspicious. But nope, Kels doesn't have a BV. Seymour Plow-Me More is more into the Vicey drag stuff.

Dear Ted:
Is Alex O' Loughlin a BV? Or was he at some point?
Jaws

Dear 5-0:
Nope, that cutie is too new on the scene. And a bit on the timid side.

Dear Ted:
Are Shane West and Ashton Holmes Judas Jack Off and Dashed Dingle Dream? They have been friends for awhile, so I think that makes them a known pair. Also they just co-starred on Nikita, so they are the right level of fame for this BV. It all makes sense now, do I get a prize?
Chaz

Dear Random Alert:
I applaud you for thinking outside the box, I really do! But you're wrong. Not too terribly wrong. But wrong.

Dear Ted:
How messed up is Princess Powder-Puff's mother?! Who can blame PPP for having such a rough patch in her life when the woman who birthed her is such a bottom-feeder? For those of us who will always have a soft spot for dear Princess, regardless of her missteps, can you give a little tidbit? We can keep it general: was she born before or after the fall of the Berlin Wall?
Bie

Dear Nice Try:
Where would the fun in that be? That would eliminate some key suspects. I will say this: Princess P is still relevant. Does that help? Ok, I changed my mind: before.