Jennifer Aniston

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Dear Ted:
What in the world is wrong with Jennifer Aniston's mouth lately (and by lately, I mean since her film Marley & Me). I tried to watch her in Bounty Hunter on cable, but I was too distracted by her mouth, more specifically—the way her lips moved and how she sounded. Her lips move strangely and she sounds like she's had a wee too much to drink. As I've noticed this in her latest interviews and films, I don't think she has a drinking problem, but rather had some work done on her cheeks or jaw that didn't go well. Now, before you label me a loon for bringing this up, watch Derailed and then watch anything of Jen's from Marley on to see what I'm talking about.

Dear Angelina Jolie:
Compared to half the older broads in town, I'd say whatever Jen's doing to her still very attractive face and bod is so friggin' minimal. Maybe she's having trouble settling into whatever tinkering she's done? Hell, at least she can still move her face, unlike some. Give Jen a break, she's a nice woman, ultimately, and also don't forget the Chelsea Handler factor here: Any best bud to that chick is going to start looking at least a little off or inebriated—just by association.

Dear Ted:
So now that Taylor Swift has ended her romance with Jake Gyllenhaal, what kind of song do you think she will write about their time together? A gooey love song or something with a pretty candy shell but dead on the inside?

Dear John or Jake:
How ‘bout neither? Taylor's as crafty as they come, don't underestimate her sometimes candy-coated appeal. She knows damn well the world's expecting a thinly veiled song about Jake. That's exactly why she'll make everybody wait for it.

Dear Ted:
Happy New Year! In an E! column (or BB-I can't remember) it was said that LeAnn Rimes is still famous "because she wants to be." With all the drama that is now surrounding her, is the old adage "any press is good press" still relevant? She is getting tons of press, albeit nothing positive.

Dear Hard-Pressed:
LeAnn's a weird case. She used to be this nice aw-shucks Nashville chick, and now she's morphed into some kind of bullet-boobed, emaciated husband-stealer. And it's just not nearly as attractive on her as it is on, say, Angelina Jolie, who wears her infamous lovemaking with far more aplomb. But, yes, ultimately LeAnn wants the infamy (not fame), because, otherwise you simply do not borrow other women's husbands or become blithering freaks on Twitter.

Dear Ted:
Check on Eddie Cibrian's Twitter—he responds to a guy John10pi, I think his name is—its easy to find since he rarely tweets. It's really just downright bullying. LeAnn Rimes is constantly saying she doesn't support bullying, but it's obvious she supports it if it's to someone who isn't a fan of hers or her man's ex-wife! Is that how it works? Don't bully unless they don't like me?

Dear You Know What I Think:
Because I removed your last name, even though it was on your signature. That LeAnn can be scaaarrrry.

Dear Ted: 
The way K.Stew talks and the way she's always so nervous to give speeches is so annoying. Why doesn't her manager get her in some public speaking classes?

Dear Talks Tough:
Two things: 1) Because she speaks just fine, it's not a crime to by shy; and, 2) Is Twihard-training now part of the Marines' regimen? Wouldn't surprise me—anybody who can make it through those movies in one sitting has gotta be real combat material.

Dear Ted:
Happy New Year, Ted! Love the column! Especially the Robsten stuff. Which brings me to my question...Did you watch the awards last night? It looked to me like Robsten were trying too hard to not look couple-y. I swear there was a point where R.Pattz went to hold Stew's hand and she pulled it away, or with Taylor helping K.Stew up the stairs for her award or her standing by Taylor when they all accepted the award for Eclipse, things like that. Am I reading too much into it or did you see it, too?

Dear Chill:
Yes, you're reading way too much into it. They friggin' flew in from a set just to do this show. And remember what they do on sets? Work. Thanks for the kudos, by the way!

Dear Ted:
Has Beyoncé ever been a Blind Vice? If so, was it before she went solo, or while she was with Destiny's Child?

Dear So Cold:
Sorry, Beyonce's personal life is sort of like her acting chops: a little one note. She is genuinely in love with her husband, how Vicey is that?

Dear Ted:
What is it with Jennifer Aniston? She has no talent, makes bad movies and is not particularly beautiful. Why won't she go away? I'm sick of seein' her on magazines.
-- ljoe

Dear Yawn:
Oh, another Jen basher, how unusual! At least come up with some new material, sweetheart (although I do agree Jen needs better material, been sayin' so for ages).

Dear Ted:
On the surface, it looks like Jennifer Garner is a very involved/hands-on mom. I hope it is not just for show? Does she employ a large number of nannies like other Hollywood moms?

Dear Off:
Even though Jen has an impressive retinue, she enjoys being a very hands-on mommy. It's the wifey stuff that remains far more suspect.

Dear Ted:
Good Lord, Ted! Kristen was absolutely stunning at the awards show! I def caught Rob staring at her assets a few times. And, of course, Taylor was his usual handsome self. However, what was up with Rob and his Members Only outfit? His GF was hot enough to melt steel, so why couldn't he give his fans a little eye candy as well? Was he just trying to downplay his presence there you think?

Dear Threadbare:
Who cares what the clothes were on Rob, they were just too many to begin with. What's the matter with unbuttoning a shirt or wearing some tight slacks? They could be Levi's for all I care. Actually, think that would be hot…

Dear Ted:
Quick question, have either or both Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream been receiving more press and recognition recently?

Dear PR Contest:
Judas, by far. Like it's always been.

Dear Ted:
Kristen Stewart looked gorgeous at the PCA, but why was she giving so much attention to Taylor Lautner? Why was he the one who walked her up to the stage for her award? Rob looked at Kristen lots, but she seemed to be giving Taylor all of her looks. What's up?

Dear Onto Something:
Since she's carrying Taylor's secret love children (she's having quintuplets after in vitro blessed by a special Mormon ceremony), Kristen thought it best to start acting the attentive co-parent.

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