Ian Somerhalder, Paul Wesley,  Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki

The CW

Dear Ted:
I have only just started watching The Vampire Diaries and I love how much chemistry Ian Somerholder and Paul Wesley have together. Can you dish any dirt on whether these two are more than friends? Also, with all of the recent celebrity divorce announcements, do you think we might hear one from Jensen Ackles or Jared Padalecki soon?

Dear Double the Bros:
Sorry M, you are stretching there about Ian and Paul. See, Jensen and Jared are actually BFF's in real life, and Ian and Paul aren't that tight. And no, I do not see a divorce announcement happening from any of the Supernatural boys.

Dear Ted:
Please tell me Bret Michaels isn't Wilby Whiskers!

Dear Trailer of Love:
Not a terrible guess at all, but wrong beat for Wilby. Are you breathing easier?

Dear Ted:
Your comment about Veronica Bee-Stings in the last Bitch-Back got me thinking about these "discreet" casting couch rendezvous that go on in Hollywood. Isn't it dangerous for a star(let) to sleep with a director/producer type in terms of potential future blackmail? Does the douchebag exec really have as much to lose in terms of his career or reputation? It seems to me that being revealed to the public as a cheap slut celebrity would be more damaging than being known as a "behind the scenes" power-abusing jerk, no?
Risky Business

Dear Questioning Couch:
Look at Chiquita. She may have already got the part, but in the end, but, she's the one with the power. Doing the deed for a role (or to keep one) leaves both parties vulnerable, but Veronica would be too smart to put herself in a situation that would get her, or that shiny rep, in trouble. There are certain producers and directors in this town notorious for bedding leading ladies and following through on their promises. This is the type of sitch I could see Stings in. But again, she hasn't done it just yet.

Dear Ted:
Is Sheila Yabos hubby a previously known Vicer?

Dear Knocking on The Right Door:
He doesn't have a moniker, if that's what you mean. He's really not that important, in the end.

Dear Ted:
My rescues Hank and Leo (boxer and Pekingese) and I read all the other guesses (Christina, Scar & Ry, Halle), but are thinking even higher on the Hollywood food chain. Could Sheila Yabos be Kate Winslet? Knockout knockers, fierce professional reputation, already trotting out other men... Something about this Vice tells me we are not looking at the most recent headline-gobbling babes listed above, but this babe, who's been flying pretty under the radar lately.

Dear Out of the Box:
I applaud your guess! If more people thought creatively then maybe a few Vice stabs would be correct. That considered, you are wrong.  

Dear Ted:
The more clips of Garrett Hedlund I see the more Vicey he seems. Surely a goofball with his impressive career trajectory has gotta have some stories. Come on Ted, spill the beans!

Dear Fishing:
Sorry babe, as I've said I'm just not hearing much dirt on the kid. He stays out of the debauched scene, and hopefully that will continue! That said, I don't think he's ultimately that perfect—or will be so for much longer. Still, can't we at least have a good guy to talk about for a while? Why all the suspicion?

Dear Ted:
In the pics taken of her at the beach, Megan Fox looks rail thin. What happened to all the curves she used to have? Is it a diet or is it something else?

Dear What's Eating You:
Funny thing is, Megan has always been that tiny. When she's on the carpet with a push-up bra, she looks much more voluptuous, but she's seriously as big as my pinky. Always been that way.

Dear Ted:
Lara Flynn Boyle looks effin horrible.  Is she Lucretia Johnson?  And if she isn't, can you tell us what's going on with her?

Dear Fab Guess:
I hear that sister! Girlfriend used to be such a babe, but I think her crazy personality finally took its toll.

Dear Ted:
Not a Robsten question. There is nothing else to say is there? I am curious about how much influence Kristen Stewart has over these last two movies compared to the previous ones. In Brazil, Bill Condon seemed very interested in her opinion. At least It seemed that way, plus she said during the WTTR press junket that she and Rob were able to influence a few screenplay changes before they started rehearsing.

Dear Power Struggle:
You bet! Happy leads, happy set, happy movie. From what I hear, Kristen and Rob really like Bill and vice versa, so he values their input—it's not like they are demanding for him to hear it.

Dear Ted:
I have the biggest crush on Charlie Bewley (Demetri from the Twilight movies). Does he have a Blind Vice? How about any other members of the Volturi? Loves and happy holidays!

Dear Vicey Volturi:
Funny you should ask! In fact, one of the Volturi members does have a Blind Vice. Repeat offender, too.

Dear Ted:
I've gotten so into guessing your BVs, but you can almost never answer a question straight-out about a specific one. So I got all creative with this q: I'm sure you're aware of the top guesses for the big BVs. Are there any BVs that the most-guessed person is laughably wrong? PS. Do you ever take interns? Cuz I would just kill to be yours!

Dear Straight Up:
Absolutely Katie! As to the Vices, there are a few cases where the main guesses are wrong. And I have no intention of correcting anytime soon. Where would the fun in that be?

Dear Ted:
At least Christina has the talent to back up her bitchiness. You, on the other hand, just sit behind a computer screen and talk crap. P.S., "globally" recognized writer my ass, you wish. Continue discussing Hollywood sleaze and pretend you have some sort of talent or credibility. Your Blind Vices are full of crap, too.

Dear Christina:
Bah humbug to you, too. And please, comb your hair and put on some nude lipstick.

Dear Ted:
Has Morgan Mayhem grown up and changed her ways? 

Dear Messy Morgan:
I don't know, to be honest I'm quite sick of speculating. Until she proves me wrong, I'm going to go with no.

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