Christmas shopping, schmismas shopping. Hunker down with the most riveting gifts of your Soup week!

1. The Real Housewives of Atlanta: With "Tardy for the Party," Kim Zolciak-Biermann has conquered the world of singing. Now she brings that same unique flavor to the world of dance.

Four more to go, kids. Work that mouse.

2. Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew: Leif Garrett may have issues with various substances, but wait till you see how he feels about a wall sconce. Thank God there's help.

3. The View: Jenny McCarthy drops by to gab about her recent work with Charlie Sheen, which makes her a good authority on his amazing sexual appeal to women. Clearly, Capri Anderson was confused. 

4. The Fashion Show: Luckily, FS favorite Cal Tran makes his statements with desgin. Lucky because you can't understand a word he's saying. See what happens when he's tasked with putting together something to hang on a real houswife of New Jersey.

5. Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It: Poor Bret is having health issues again, this time with a hole in his heart. See how his groin figures into that.

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