Ryan Gosling, Blake Lively

Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images; Brian Zak/Sipa Press

Dear Ted:
Is the Ryan Gosling and Blake Lively pairing as painful for you to watch as it is for me? He just seems way too intelligent, but maybe it's just because she looks like a bimbo.

Dear Blake Basher:
Hold the bitch, Blake is no bimbo. That girl may be annoyingly gorgeous, but she is one very smart fashionista. Does Team Truth want Gosling all to ourselves? You bet. But the thought of Ryan and Blake together is so disgustingly perfect we approve of their hotness together. For now at least.

Dear Ted:
All these divorces and breakups in Hollywood (Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds) have me wondering why celebrities get married at all. Marriage seems like such a joke in Hollywood. Please tell me there are some genuine couples left, with lasting power and who genuinely care about one another!

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Dear Love Lost:
Careful, you're beginning to sound as jaded as we are! The more genuine couples live out of Hollywood and out of the limelight. I think more stars need to take a cue from Reese Witherspoon and date nonactors. That being said, I would not be opposed to a Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock hookup. Something we don't thing Sandra would mind either.

Dear Ted:
I don't know who your source is on the Mike Vick story, but it is flat-out wrong. I know Mike, personally. He has no obligation to the Humane Society and he proactively uses his four days off per month doing community events because he wants to. You should interview the Humane Society to see what they think. You might not want to admit the truth, but the program is working in these communities. Of course, you wouldn't bother reporting the truth.

Dear Know It All:
How the hell do you know everything Vick has sad privately to people? Neither of us do. That said, I have a source (whom I believe) who says Michael isn't always so keen on pushing the anti-dog-fighting message.

Dear Ted:
I was wondering if Cameron Diaz shares her vice with Leonardo DiCaprio. I remember seeing pictures of them promoting Gangs of New York back in the day. And you know, both of them like to have their share of fun. Am I close?

Dear Hotness Alert:
Such a fab guess, babe! And while we're on the subject, I would totally approve of those two dating (or at least sexing). But no, Cammy shares her Vice with someone so random I doubt any of you would guess the mystery fella.

Dear Ted:
You are absolutely right that you can print whatever the hell you want. That is your undisputed right. But it is also my undisputed right to question why you are jumping on the Twilight bandwagon and riding faster than your spurs can kick? I have been reading you since your Defamer days and have loved every second of you. My only "bitch" is your over-the-top Twilight coverage. You don't give any other subject (except animal and gay rights, which I commend you on) the same treatment. You have never been a follower, always a leader, so pardon me for calling you out on your blatant Twilight selling out. I'm truly sorry if I pushed your button into the red zone, but you have pushed mine there 10 times over. And by the way, Happy Holidays, Mr. Grinch.
Judes, AKA the Bitcher

Dear Twi Panties In A Twist:
Come on, babe—we pushed the Twilight phenom because we were the first to accurately report Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart being a real-life couple. Excuse the crap outta us for participating further in their hot-mess rebelliousness! Besides, I can tell you can take it. But enlighten me: Who you would like to hear about? Kisses to you, Mrs. Grinch!

Dear Ted:
You are amazing for standing your ground with the Vick issue! As a shelter volunteer and activist, I can tell you from experience that monsters like him don't change just because they get caught. Also, I'm having True Blood withdrawals. Can you give me any goss from set? Do you think Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are in it for the long haul?

Dear Fang Thirsty:
Stephen and Anna are on the nice list of Hollywood marriages, yes. She wears the pants in that relaysh, that's for sure. Here's hoping they prove some couples can last in this town. And thanks for the Vick kudos. But it's a sad story, just the same. Just wish all those animals didn't have to die that way—let's hope more dog deaths can be prevented in the future.

Dear Ted:
I really hope you answer this one! Lorin Sniffle-Puss, in your B.V., you have made sure that you never reveal the Vicer's gender: Lorin this, Lorin that, Sniffle me this and Sniffle me that...Tell us, Ted, is Lorin a dude?

Dear Holiday Treat:
But where would the fun in that be? I'll tell you this: Lorin will be poking his/her Sniffle-Puss around awards season.

Dear Ted:
I'm curious about how long you really think Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift will last. You've called them the next Robsten, and you've now said that they are a match made in "Vice heaven." The amount of skeptics that are complaining on the internet kinda has me divided as far as my own opinion, but what is your real, honest opinion on this hookup's longevity? Could they really be in it for the long haul, or are they just messing with our heads?
Just Wondering

Dear Jaded Jaylor:
Let's put it this way: Their relationship will last as long as they want it to last. You know, as long as they are both mutually getting out of the dating situation what they want. Isn't that how it usually goes in Hollywood?

Dear Ted:
Since my pound pups, Max and Roxie, are huge Twilight fans, I thought I would ask a troubling question for them. I just read them an article that claimed that Robsten were starting to get tired of each other. The article I read was second-hand news and quoted the National Enquirer (gack). So please, Ted, ease Max and Roxie's little hearts and clear up the "tired of each other" rumors.

Dear Laughable:
Oh please, while the Enquirer does get a few things right, this isn't one of them. It's quite the opposite, actually. Rob and Kristen keep each other sane through this ridiculous fame ride they're on. Rob and Kristen are best friends first. They've been hanging close together since day one of Twilight. Nothing's changed now.

Dear Ted:
What the hell is going on with your comments about Skarsworth? You tell us they are pap whores, you make vague comments about his fandom headed downhill and then this week you blog about them like an obsessed fanboy...and tack on baby rumors, to boot.
Bat girl

Dear Jilted:
Haven't you ever been in a relationship with a blogger before? I never said they both were pap whores, just that their relationship was...convenient, and I'm sticking to it. That doesn't mean it's entirely fake, though.

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