Joan Rivers

Charles William Bush

Dear Joan:
I can't help but notice that everyone in Hollywood has ridiculously long hair! I think it looks gorgeous on girls 5'6" and taller, but I'm shorter than 5'6". Would it just make me look like a midget trying to be Rapunzel if I were to grow mine (like Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen)?

Dear Close Cut:

You're in luck: the long hair trend is already over. Now stars like Emma Watson, Ashlee Simpson-wentz and Scarlett Johansson are going for pixie cuts or bobs. Ultimately, your style should be age-appropriate. If you're young, you can carry off very long or very short, otherwise it should be somewhere in between.

Dear Joan:
I always have problems when I have to go for formal dinners! I don't know what kind of dresses to wear. If I wear something flashy then I might look like Snooki! (That's a bad thing.)

Dear Snookums:
There's nothing wrong with being a little flashy to a formal dinner—just make sure the girls are covered if we can see your legs and vice versa. A hint of skin is sexy, but give too much away and then you're really in Jersey Shore territory.

Dear Joan:
What shirt was Kelly wearing this week? And what booties was Giuliana sporting?

Dear Fashion Follower:
Didn't they look great?! Kelly's shirt was Dolce & Gabbana and Giuliana's booties were by Sam Edelman.

Dear Joan:
You're amazing. I love you, but step aside, I need to know who makes Kelly Osbourne's black shirt that she wore on last FP! It was black, silk and had a tie and puff shoulders. I'm sure I can't afford it, but I am willing to go into debt! Actually, I love a lot of what she wears. Is there somewhere on E! Online that lists what you guys wear every week? If someone knows, please post.

Dear Style Watcher:
Yes, it was expensive, Dolce & Gabbana in fact, but the skirt was H&M! As for the rest of our outfits, just check back on my blog, we'll answer any wardrobe questions you have. And Giuliana lists her E! News wardrobe here.

Dear Joan:
I'm a 16-year-old boy from the U.K. desperate to make it in the fashion industry. I have already created a collection of sci-fi and horror movie villains (based on it), but I want to do something more spectacular that would make magazine editors want to publish my work in their magazines. What are they looking for in a designer?

Dear Designer in Training:
You sound so charged with passion for what you do, good for you! I suggest you either go to school for design to learn the ins and outs of the industry or apprentice for someone else more established who will put you in touch with the people you need to know. Good luck!

Dear Joan:
I'm a 40-year-old man who used to be designer knowledgeable. However, the past five years I have not bought any new clothes nor followed fashion trends. I now find fashion terribly intimidating. Where should I begin to get back in the loop? I'm ready. Put me back in the game coach. P.S. I absolutely love you!

Dear Comeback Player:
It sounds like you need some intensive training. First, I want you to hit the mall and give me 20 laps around the men's department. Then study the playbooks (GQ, Esquire, etc.) and keep watching Fashion Police for what not to wear and you'll be back in the game in no time.

Dear Joan:
I'm a 17-year-old Costa Rican guy who loves your show and the way you say things. I was wondering what kind of fabric I should use if I wear capri pants? Thank you, love ya.

Dear Amigo:
You are a sweetheart, thank you! When I think capri I think summer, so I'm going to say a light fabric, like cotton or linen.

Dear Joan:
I'm a young Belizean fashionista and I absolutely love your show! We all watch you here in Belize. You guys are awesome and so right on the hits and misses. Keep doing your thing. My question is: Do you think heavy-set people should really go for the belted waist look? I mean, some people are definitely overdoing it and pushing stuff out that should be kept in. What's your take on this?

Dear Weight Watcher:
Thank you so much. There's nothing pretty about a muffin top, but I think anyone can wear a belt as long as they do it right—not too tight and worn just below the rib cage. Most people assume their waist is above their hips but it's actually higher up at the narrowest point of your torso.  

Dear Joan:
First of all, I have to say that I love you! You are the funniest person on TV and I've been a huge fan of yours for years. I even rooted for you on Celebrity Apprentice. I saw you at Prime 112 in South Beach a few months ago and so wanted to say hi but I was so starstruck and didn't want to be rude and interrupt your dinner. Anyhow, I do have a question for you. I'm attending a charity gala this Saturday. I bought this dress that's a plum color, asymmetrical (has one long sleeve), it has some multicolored stones on the sleeve's shoulder and it's knee length. I wanted to wear the dress with black leather pumps and a textured patent leather black YSL clutch. Can I pull off this look or should I wear a neutral color shoe? Please help! Xoxo P.S. Can you adopt me and my son? LOL.

Dear Super Fan:
I have the best fans, thank you! The dress sounds gorgeous and I think you'll do just fine with black leather pumps and a matching YSL clutch. And I'd love to adopt you, but Melissa's not good at sharing her toys.

Email me your fashion questions at

WATCH: Fashion Police on E! Friday nights @ 10:30 p.m.
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