Randy Quaid Can't Quit the Crazy, Says Dennis Quaid "Had a Hit Taken Out on Him"

In an exclusive sitdown with E! News, the ever erratic actor explains why his brother is in danger and why he'll never return to Santa Barbara—if he can help it

By Gina Serpe Nov 12, 2010 9:36 PMTags

We know Thanksgiving is still a couple weeks away, but is it too early to express a little gratitude for the gift that is Randy Quaid?

Not as long as he keeps giving interviews like his latest exclusive sitdown with E! News, it isn't.

Of course, brother Dennis Quaid might think differently, given Randy's propensity to continue to drag him into the crazy. So, what's he saying now?

"My brother had a hit taken out on him, when his kids were given that overdose in the hospital," Randy explained to E! News in a two-part interview airing tonight.

Now, we're not exactly sure what happened in the last week that made Randy upgrade his brother's danger levels from that of being "victimized" to having an actual hit out on his name. But given that sort of inflammatory rhetoric, is it any wonder the brotherly love has cooled a bit in recent months?

"I haven't really spoken to him since January," Randy said. "I don't think he wants to get involved in what this is."

Can't say that we blame him, even though it's got to be a good sign that Randy at least knows there's a this going on. Um, right?

Now if only he could work on the part where it involved regularly skipping court dates, waxing hysterical about supposed star whackers, equating yourself with the likes of Britney Spears, Heath Ledger and Michael Jackson, attempting to become the country's most mocked ex-pat, and deciding to share your life with someone who thinks it's a good idea to bring a Golden Globe to their court date (but hey, at least for that one they showed up).

Time will tell if Randy and enabler extraordinaire Evi Quaid will manage to drag themselves to a Santa Barbara courthouse on Tuesday, where they're due to appear to answer to charges of squatting. Randy already missed an appearance last week, and was forced to forfeit another $500,000 in bail as a result.

But it certainly doesn't sound like he's eager to return to the California city.

"I don't trust Santa Barbara as far as I can spit," he told E! News. "I am afraid that if I went back there, it's possible that I could be run through their system, their judicial system, and wind up in some county jail where I could be killed and I'm not gonna take that chance.

"This is nonstop and it has got to stop. I am not going to go to Santa Barbara again if I can help it. If I have to, I will."

Sounds like someone better get the checkbook ready. Again.

Still, on the bright side, Randy does seem to know how all this looks.

"I'm not crazy," he said. "I play a lot of crazy characters, but I'm an actor."

A Method one, by the looks of it.