Mel Gibson, Zach Galifianakis, Todd Phillips

Kevin Winter/Getty Images; Eric Charbonneau/ (2)

Dear Ted:
Do you feel that the guys from The Hangover a being a bit hypocritical? They say no to Mel Gibson, but yes to Mike Tyson, a convicted rapist! Yes, the things that Mel Gibson said were horrendous, but how is being an asshole worse than being a rapist?
Amanda F.

Dear Hung Up:
Darling, you must be joking, right? You expect reason from a town that allows gay-bashing humor to get the greenlight? (Ask Ron Howard, Vince Vaughn and those Dilemma folks, if you don't know what I'm talking about.) Frankly, if you want to know what I think, if you're still making money and generating A-list product, you get a pass. If you're a completely out of it freak-a-jerk, like Gibson, you're conveniently used to set an example.

Dear Ted:
Disappointment abounds! All your talk against cyber-bullying and yet you label this new (?) Blind Vice a slut with a trap for a vagina, but nothing equivalent for the men involved? What gives?

Dear What's Good for the Girls:
Oh, please, I talk about guys getting it on like slobbering, conniving idiots (Crescent Kumquat and Crotch-Uh-Lastic, anyone?) all the time. I also constantly write about closeted actors engaging in self-hating, anti-gay behavior—doesn't mean I support or condone it. Same with Chiquita, for heaven's sake.

Dear Ted:
I'm really tired of hearing the multiple excuses of why Charlie Sheen has gotten a "pass" on his bad behaviors. Just because he never claimed to be anything else does not mean he should be able to go down any sort of spiral.

Dear Right On:
I completely and utterly agree! No one should get a pass for being that nuts, but this is Hollywood dear, and if he doesn't try to mend his supposedly medically induced madness, his career will be in the dumps just badly as his hotel room was after his naked meltdown last week.

Dear Ted:
Wanted your thoughts on the Welcome to the Rileys earnings. I think it did pretty well based on its R rating and being shown in so few theaters. What do you also think of Kristen Stewart's acting chops in the movie? Think it's worth an Oscar nom? Your thoughts on this issue matter to me, so make sure you post my comment.

Dear Bossy:
While I can't say the flick is absolutely brilliant, it was great. However, an Oscar nom for K.Stew would be pushing it, indeed. She has much, much better up her stripper pole, trust.

Dear Ted:
I'm enjoying the Six Degrees of Maribeth Bush game. How about Lloyd Boy-Toyed—any chance he has worked with Maribeth?

Dear Bushels of Fun:
Yes, they have worked together. Excellent clue request.

Dear Ted:
Here is my opinion on the Zach Galifianakis vs. Robert Downey Jr. feud. Zach was fine with a convicted rapist being in the first Hangover movie and now he has a problem with Mel being in the sequel? Granted, no reason for either case, but to excuse one over the other? Please tell me you are above that, Ted. I am a woman and while no excuse for either one, obviously Zach did hence having Mel let go. Sorry to Zach but hypocrite much?

Dear Zach-Smasher:
While I totally catch your hypocritical drift, I don't think you can hate on Zach for being worried about the safety on set. I mean, Mel has hordes of hatred built up inside, outside and everywhere imaginable. Who the hell knows who his next stereotyped victim will be!

Dear Ted:
I see that you are yet to respond to a question about Lorin Sniffle-Puss. I think this is because you know that you have made it ridiculously obvious that this is Lea Michele. The headline comes days after the GQ photos are released with the title "Sexy Poses Ain't the Half of It." Not to mention you said it was a Glee Blind Vice on your Twitter. I lost tons of respect for her if she is doing drugs and I also lost some respect for you for outing her so obviously. Not cool.

Dear Sniffin' Around:
Not going to lie, you've got a good B.V. instinct, but your snout might not be totally on its A game. Not this time. It ain't Lea.

Dear Ted:
There was a phase when Ashley Greene and Jackson Rathbone couldn't get through an interview without flirting. Is there any of this left, or was it all just for show? She seems awfully good at faking it for the press.
—Groaning over Gronas

Dear Groans of Denial:
Ash and Jacks are bloody lovable in the Twilight series, but let's not hallucinate. It's pretty clear that Greene is not groaning over her new man, Joe Jonas. But we know with any celeb couple comes a potential love triangle.

Dear Ted:
I was out and about, doing my normal Sunday shopping and while standing in line, I noticed a disturbing headline that was jumping off the page on one of the tabs. It had a photo of a gaunt, sickly Michael Douglas with a caption that pretty much indicated his days are numbered. That bothered the crap out of me. It's one thing to run blaring headlines and photos of some celeb's cellulite, but when these publications choose to cash in on those with serious illness that is where I think they cross the line from mild curiosity to morbid curiosity. I did not purchase the magazine, but the image of his face stuck with me all day. How sad.

Dear Pissed:
I saw the same crap and feel the exact same way. Reminds me of how Patrick Swayze was hunted by the rags, gaunt pics for days, until he finally passed away. It's essentially trapping a human until he withers and dies, horrifically wrong. Somebody should do it to the journos themselves, on their deathbeds, and see how they like it.

Dear Ted:
You do not seem very impressed with either Judas Jack-Off or Dash Dingle-Dream's acting chops. But if they are fooling the world and even their families and close friends with their fake bearding relationships, aren't you seriously underrating their acting talents? Or are they not very believable when acting with the fake girlfriends or wives either?

Dear Digging for Dirt:
My opinion about their crappy acting chops may not be the same as yours. In fact, one half of the secretive duo may have even been considered an A-list celeb back in the day, but as for now, hate to ruin your day, but no I'm not impressed—not then, not now, not ever!

Dear Ted:
Have you gotten any information about the breakup between Blake Lively and Penn Badgley? I mean it was so sudden and the timing came out at an awkward time. I can only assume that they are still friends since they have to work together.

Dear Buzzed over the Breakup:
Yes indeed, Blake and her costar are keeping it classy as they head to Splitsville, but there's no telling when the bombshell will land her new leading man (Ryan Gosling, anybody?), and Penn will just slip under the radar. As cute and nerdy as he may be, this BF turned friend is bound to head for no-name central sometime soon, whether Blake breaks his heart one more time with class or some gossy sass!

Dear Ted:
Please stop calling women bitches, you don't want to be called faggot. It's just so childish, grow up.

Dear Stupid:
There's a big difference. (And, for the record, I call myself—and heaps of other dudes—bitch all the time.) Grow up, yourself.

Dear Ted:
I am so furious with you! You never called me about our plans for Team Awful and me to visit Alexander Skarsgård and about getting rid of that awful Kate Bosworth! What's going on? I mean he never looks happy, and I can't find celeb pictures of him anywhere! Can you help a girl out?

Dear Hot for Skars:
Give us the time and date and believe me we'll be there in full force! Just not sure how we will hunt the duo down. I mean the paps can't even snap some solid shots of the two together. Despite any of our plan's shortcomings, we love your spunk and stalkerish ways, always!

Dear Ted:
I just read your article "No, You Can't Take My Picture!" and believe me I'm a huge Kristen Stewart fan. I find her totally refreshing! But articles like this are probably why she comes off as rude. It's one thing to be annoyed with paps, but fans? Maybe it came out wrong, but it left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Still love you (and her!), keep on keepin' on!

Dear Delusional:
We love K.Stew as much as the next Twi-hard, but you've got to love her smiley and pouty side all the same my friend. Plus, if you're a true fan, then you know she has that bratty, get-out-of-my-business attitude almost every time she peeks her head from under one of those hideous hoodies.

Dear Ted:
Can you throw me a bone and tell me what's going on in Brangelina land? Things seemed pretty bad according to reports this last year, but now they're hugging and kissing and spending a lot of time together. Have they mended things? Or are they faking it?

Dear Put a Band-Aid on It:
It looks like things are all patched up in fairy-tale land, especially after the couple went bopping around Budapest just last week with some of the kiddos. Heavy PDA and family time may just be what the debuting director needs to balance her bossiness and make Brad the happy stay-at-home daddy she's been trying to turn him into. Or it could all just be a quick fix?

Dear Ted:
I was recently thinking about my favorite vice of yours Toothy Tile and couldn't help but wonder, if a movie were ever to come out the based on this Vice who would play Toothy, Grey Goose and Baby Tile?

Dear Love it:
Either Chace Crawford or James Franco would be terrific as Grey, and the beloved Tooth himself? I nominate Ryan Gosling. Baby Tile would probably best be tackled by Willow Smith. It's a hit, no?

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