If a cigarette could talk, it would no doubt sound like lovable ol' crank Ma, whose voice falls somewhere between a bullfrog and Harvey Fierstein with a hangover. In this week's saga, we find her dealing with the possibility that son Ricky may sell their Texas biker bar Strokers to a bunch a' wealthy dang A-rabs.

No need to retire, Ma. 555-MATURE HONEYS is always hiring for phone sex.

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